66-year-old Sylvia Driskell of Auburn, Nebraska, is no longer content to stand idly by as homosexuals, emissaries of the devil, continue to wipe their lube-stained butts across America’s flag. That’s why she’s declared herself an ambassador of god and Jesus Christ (his son) and is asking the courts “is homosexuality a sin or not a sin?”
Ignoring the fact that hatred of thine neighbor is a sin in itself—so even asking this question could send Driskell to hell with all them gross butt bandits she’s so upset about—her endeavor is also not particularly practical. While the court can decide if gay marriage is legal or not, they’re probably not going to be the authority to sound off on whether the actual orientation is a sin or not. Especially because of that pesky church/state separation we all keep talking about (even though, TBH, they’re not as separate as we’d hope). But Driskell is undeterred. She’s waging a campaign against homosexuals whether they like it or not.