Vice President Good Boy Will Fetch You a Diet Coke


A revealing piece in the Atlantic, which goes into Vice President Mike Pence’s role in working to end the government shutdown (spoiler: he has no influence despite being very committed to parroting Trump’s lies about the border) confirms that Pence is, in fact, a very well-behaved, obedient boy. Mother must be proud (emphasis my own):

White House allies on the Hill and former administration officials acknowledged privately that the vice president may be more hamstrung than ever, unable to capitalize on many of the strengths he was originally chosen for. But crucially, those sources said, Pence has never expressed any displeasure with his circumstances, and would never suggest, even privately they say, that Trump’s whims have made shuttle diplomacy difficult. “There’s a reason Pence has avoided the fate of so many others,” another former senior White House official told me. “He acquiesces entirely to the will of Trump 100 percent of the time.”

All this despite his owner giving him very confusing mixed signals (never a good idea with a dog!):

Lawmakers and aides I spoke to sympathized with Pence’s position. According to one veteran House Republican aide, it was almost always a “given” that when former Vice President Joe Biden communicated the White House’s agenda to the Hill, Barack Obama would be quick to follow through. Conversely, when Pence communicates the president’s position, “it ends up being accurate maybe 50 percent of the time.”

And like the very good boy he is, Pence has been known to fetch his master his favorite beverage, a Diet Coke:

One congressional Republican staffer I spoke to recalled a policy meeting with Trump and Pence in which the vice president said little. One of the few times he spoke, the source said, was to flag another staff member. “The President,” he said, “would like a Diet Coke.”

What a nice dog!

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