Vintage Kardashian Holiday Cards: Old Noses, Awkward Poses

After releasing the 2010 Kardashian-Jenner Christmas photo, Kim Kardashian got nostalgic and posted some old holiday pictures of her family. Let’s visit with ghosts of Christmas past!

In the beginning, the kids were adorable. And it was good. Kim and Kourtney are only a year apart, and those gorgeous eyes clearly run in the family! UPDATE: Kardashian enthusiasts klaim this is a picture of Kylie and Kendall. Very konfusing! I’m no expert, just an admirer!

One year, the three little girls were mad for plaid. Little Khloe’s hair was so light back then.

When Robert Kardashian Sr. was in the picture, the Christmas portrait was tasteful — even if the fashions were painfully ’80s. Check out baby Rob’s gangster pinstripes and pinch-able cheeks!

This is one of the best of the bunch, because it just seems really sincere. Something about the way Khloe is holding her dad’s hand kind of tugs at your heartstrings. Robert and Kris Kardashian divorced in 1990, and he died in 2003. Unrelated: Kim’s look — from poufy hair to off-the-shoulder-dress — is reminiscent of how I dressed when I went to bar mitzvahs back in the day. And what I wore to my prom.

Kris Kardashian married Bruce Jenner in 1991 (and according to most reports, was seeing him before she divorced Robert). Bruce already had kids of his own: Burt, Casey, Brody and Brandon. Yes, a real live Brady Bunch. That lad in the fetching blue pants seems to be Brody Jenner; and the large green character in the back is famous TV star Raphael Jenner. That is a joke.

Matching jackets and reclining poses! It all seemed so innocent then… because Severe SexyFace (SSF™) had not yet set in. Now, is that Kris Jenner on the right? Or Morgan Fairchild?

Here we have the ’90s in full effect. This must have been the year that Herb Ritts shot Carré Otis on a motorcycle for Calvin Klein. A memorable campaign! Kim and Kourtney are either completely miserable or amateurishly attempting to achieve SSF™.

Okay, Old Nose Sighting. Kim looks completely different. And aren’t we missing some Jenners? Don’t those kids kare about Khristmas kards?

A closer look at Kim’s nose then and now. She is naturally beautiful, no doubt about that. But it certainly seems as though she had the tip of her schnozz “refined,” as they say.

As the family grew, the older Jenner kids got phased out… Brody is no where to be found. Luckily, Kendall and Kyle Jenner have been working on their SSF™, so they can fit in with the Kardashian gals.

Oooh: Kardashian kasual!

Poor Bruce Jenner. He’s the only one without Severe SexyFace™. What a tough row to hoe.

In case you missed it, here is the 2010 Kardashian-Jenner Christmas card, in all of its Photoshopppy glory:

Click to enlarge, if you dare!

The behind-the-scenes outtakes reveal that Lamar Odom was dropped in digitally after the photoshoot.