Did you know that crazy, PMS-ridden ladies aren’t the only ones with “mood swings?” Apparently even men’s stoic constitutions change throughout the day — and women can use this to their advantage!
According to the Daily Mail’s Fiona Macrae, a poll by Bayer Schering Pharma found that 6 PM is “the time when a man is likely to grant a loved one’s wishes,” while “3pm is the best time for the fairer sex to win an argument.” But watch out, greedy ladies: “when it comes to asking for a pay rise or promotion, a woman would do best not to pounce on the boss when he or she arrives for work in the morning, but to wait until 1pm.” Macrae for some reason wraps up her article with a lengthy recap of another study that characterized female bosses as “loose cannons” with “hidden agendas.” But why be the boss when you can just ask men for whatever you want? Below, a schedule for getting everything your heart desires — without actually having to wield any pesky power yourself.
8 AM: Is it your period? If so, refrain from making any decisions because your “hormones are all over the place.” If possible, lock yourself in a small attic room until menstruation subsides. Pay no attention to the lady in the wallpaper.
9 AM: Assuming you’re not menstruating, arrive at work. Do not pounce on your boss! We know it’s difficult for women to suppress these feline instincts, but now is the time for restraint. If you must, find a mouse and shake it back and forth in your mouth instead. Then leave it on your desk for others to admire while you lick your hands a bunch and look satisfied.
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