A Meditation on Making Dinner

A Meditation on Making Dinner
Photo:Ethan Miller / Getty

Ever since I began social distancing approximately three weeks (or perhaps three years) ago, I have not been able to stop thinking about one thing: going out to a restaurant again. Crissles said it best.

Now before you all jump down my throat, let’s be clear: I am not one of those people who’s just entirely useless in the kitchen. I actually enjoy cooking! And I’m pretty good at it! During the holidays I am in charge of making the mac and cheese—I know what I’m doing here. However, I am not one of those people who find cooking (or baking) to be in some way therapeutic. The issue is not that I don’t like what I cook for myself, the issue is that I am TIRED of having to cook for myself.

I’m all out of Trader Joe’s frozen food, and I’ve grown so weak.

After weeks of cooking the majority of my own meals, I find myself spacing out for extraordinary amounts of time while just staring into the pantry, trying to remember what day of the week it is and deciding whether I want to eat noodles or rice or a salad (lol). And once I finally do make a decision about what I want to eat, I still have to actually make the food [insert the gif of that kid from Masterchef Junior crying while they cook]. AND THEN once I make and eat the food, I have to do all of the dishes. And then I have to do it all again just like five hours later!!

Sure, it’s undeniable that this process has been made more tedious due to the fact that I no longer leave my apartment, but STILL. I find myself growing jealous of people who are quarantined with their significant other—not because I’m lamenting my singleness, just because it seems so nice to have another person around to help share the cooking duties.

Naturally, I’ve been supporting local restaurants and coffee shops that have stayed open for delivery and take-out during the pandemic. But as more and more restaurants close their doors, it’s difficult to support the industry without relying on food delivery apps that even amidst a pandemic are still taking commissions as high as 25-30% from these struggling restaurants.

I dream of the day when I can once again go into a restaurant, sit down, order some food, and pay for it. (And tip extremely well, of course.) To be honest, I might just hand the waiter my entire wallet. Please, take whatever you want, just don’t make me cook my own dinner tonight.

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