Although you can make really good friends later in life, it’s not quite the same. Your oldest friends won’t tolerate pretense or affectation – they have the photographic evidence of your dodgy haircuts and dodgy boyfriends, and remember when you drank Malibu and had a crush on Gary Numan (whereas new friends might think you always had glossy hair and loved opera). Whereas other friends know me now, my true life-long girlfriends know everything about me. In some ways it’s scary but in most it’s truly wonderful.
When you’re a kid, you spend more time with your friends than you will anyone else: usually these friendships are formed before you shack up with boyfriends or have things like classes in different parts of campus; you are literally together much of every day. Of course, these intense friendships can lead to equally intense falling-outs — maybe what the other three out of four people are thinking of. Cavendish jokingly likens her clique to that in the soaper (and miniseries!) Lace, in which three inseparable school-friends make a Secret Pact with Fateful Consequences (and Phoebe Cates.) But it bears remembering that by episode 2, the friendships have broken down, due to Secrets, Lies and Changing Circumstances.
I found the survey interesting because I happened to read it as I was making out my list of bridesmaids: three of the four, I realized, were friends I’d known since elementary school. And it’s not just that they knew me when I hadn’t discovered anti-frizz shampoo and was the smallest person in our class; rather, they helped form me. And wouldn’t judge me if I had a crush on Gary Numan now — less dramatic than “which one of you bitches is my mother?” but arguably more important in a bridesmaid.
Of course, it does bear noting that the survey was of only 1,050 adults — by snack maker Pom-Bear. So if your own childhood friendships don’t meet the enduring standards of either the Daily Fail or bear-shaped British snacks, take heart: neither did Lucinda Lace’s.
Why Best Friends At School Last A Lifetime [Daily Mail]
