Everything Was Cake But Now Everything Is Baguette

Today, Moschino launched their brand new “baguette bag,” a part of their Fall/Winter 2020 collection, which costs a measly $1240 dollars. In it, one can maybe store a smaller baguette, or multiple tiny baguettes. A lucky few might fit a phone in there, and maybe like, a lint roller, or other cylindrical objects, like lipsticks and dildos.

If a person prefers $1240 croissants over $1240 baguettes, Moschino has that option too. However, just so everyone is clear, this is still a baguette.

In a year where everything was cake, it’s nice to have a change of pace, where things are now baguettes instead. In the morning, I look forward to waving to my baguette neighbors, and watching the baguette sun rise in the baguette sky, over a Hollywood sign that is also a baguette. Just a question: If everything was cake, and now everything is baguette, does that make a baguette also cake?

Who really knows, I’m not a mathematician.