Grimes Would Like Elon Musk to Sail 390.4 Million Miles Away

In a new song, the singer discovers that true love and a baby won’t change a workaholic asshole.

By Emily Leibert  |  December 6, 2021 | 4:10pm
CelebritiesDirt Bag
Grimes Would Like Elon Musk to Sail 390.4 Million Miles Away
Photo:Neilson Barnard (Getty Images)

Everyone’s favorite potential lesbian space commune founder Grimes is out with a new song, and she appears to be down bad.

In “Player of Games,” which was released on Sunday, Grimes seems to make convincing allusions to her space-obsessed ex, Elon Musk. The pair, who were together for three years and have a 1-year-old son named X Æ A-Xii (yeah, nope, still can’t say it), separated in September. While the song doesn’t name the Tesla and SpaceX founder directly and Grimes hasn’t officially confirmed that the song is about Elon, I mean, come on. Just look at some of the lyrics:

I’m in love with the greatest gamer / but he’ll always love the game / more than he loves me.
If I loved him any less / I’d make him stay / But he has to be the best / Player of games
Baby, how can I compare / to the adventure out there?

Grimes is getting weepy, aligning herself with sad girls like Taylor Swift, Adele, and SZA. And I don’t blame her. The love of her life seemed to be more in love with his little billionaire pissing contest in space, too busy measuring dicks with Jeff Bezos and his phallic rocket ship to give Grimes the TLC she really needs. Feels like a tale as old as time, doesn’t it?

Musk is apparently just like every other toxic workaholic who repeatedly breaks promises not to miss dinner and, if you’re still not convinced, try these lines:

Baby, would you still love me / Out on Europa or will you forget?
Sail away / to the cold expanse of space / Even love / couldn’t keep you in your place

For reference, Europa, the smallest of the four moons orbiting Jupiter, is 1) really fucking far (like 390.4 million miles from Earth) and 2) the surface is covered with a layer of ice. It’s unclear whether Grimes is comparing Musk’s heart to an ice moon or just referring to the literal distance she felt from him. Either way, that’s cold.

Even though Grimes is cringe to the tune of Karl Marx-themed photoshoots, if we’re choosing sides, I’m on hers. And if she needs a laundry list of reasons not to call X Æ A-Xii’s daddy at night when she’s thinking about how much she misses being little spoon, she can take solace knowing that she’s no longer with a man who thinks starting a university called TITS would be funny, is responsible for a Tesla factory in which a worker alleged “nightmarish conditions” and “rampant sexual harassment,” or plays with the lives of naive teenaged investors.

You tell ‘im to sail away, bitch. Sail alllllll the way away. [TMZ]