Here Is the Best Chunky-Ass Mascara for People With Otherwise Invisible Eyelashes

In Depth

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I have straight, fine, basically invisible (bad) eyelashes, and I used to always wear a little bit of eyeliner at least on the top lid to succeed in my low-key quest to look like a friendly anime character or whatever else it is that day. But then, last fall, I got a sample size of this Buxom mascara at Sephora, and it was very tight—sort of like the mascara equivalent of the friend you make haphazard weekday plans with and end up drinking twice as much as you’d planned to because suddenly you feel like there’s space enough and fun enough and time. And even though this Buxom guy is $20 and I liked my cheapie drugstore shit just fine, I just kept re-buying it without really thinking about it, the way you repeat those weekday plans on zero notice with that friend. And, though several of my colleagues say that this Buxom guy does NOT work for them because it over-chunks and clumps their beautiful long lashes (must be nice, assholes), I would like to say that after a full year of using it, I have concluded that it is the perfect mascara for people with no eyelashes who are also not good at putting makeup on carefully. I grow more and more grateful to it on a daily basis for making ~20 seconds of wand wiggling look like Makeup.

It’s even broken me of my eyeliner habit. I would formerly not have ever gone to a formal event without eyeliner on—I was raised in Texas; this is just how I am—and I did, for the first time in a long time, over the weekend. And frequently now I pause between eye applications to think about how well this mascara is affirming and signal-boosting my formerly underrepresented, marginalized lashes.

Look at the difference on my stupid little face!

Am I cross-eyed? Who cares! I definitely would not feel qualified to say “best” about this mascara, also, if not for the fact that the Sweethome said it too. So let’s say you heard it there first, and now you’re hearing it here—Buxom “Lash Mascara” (?) is a chunky fuckin consciousness-raising group for your timid little eye fringe, and it’s the shit and I couldn’t recommend it more.

Contact the author at [email protected].

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