If Samuel Alito Were to React to the Words of Samuel Alito

The Supreme Court justice who's leading the charge to end legal abortion has made a lot of faces that we are making right now.

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Photo: Left to right: Chip Somodevilla, Alex Wong, Kris Connor (Getty Images)

On Monday night, Politico published a leaked draft opinion showing that the Supreme Court is ready to overturn Roe v. Wade sometime between now and the end of June, when the court’s term typically ends. The scorched earth opinion was written by Justice Samuel Alito, who cited a 17th-century English jurist that supported marital rape and sentenced two women to death for witchcraft. Alito canceled an appearance at the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals judicial conference that begins today—perhaps because he was worried about being pelted with “dangerous” fruit, like spiky pineapples.

While Alito was appointed to the court in 2005 by President George W. Bush, he’s a dude who definitely acts and sounds like he must have been appointed by President Donald “Grab ‘Em By the Pussy” Trump. The man couldn’t keep a poker face when President Barack Obama commented on the Citizens United ruling during his 2010 State of the Union address, and in a November 2020 speech he outlined a cornucopia of grievances, whining about pandemic restrictions, free speech, insurance coverage of birth control (??), and that people who oppose marriage equality are now considered bigots. Then, after the Supreme Court let Texas’ six-week abortion ban take effect and an Atlantic writer correctly said that the court nullifed Roe without so much as an oral argument, Alito called the critique “false and inflammatory” and said it painted a picture that was “very sinister and threatening.”

Alito has long been hostile to both birth control and abortion and, as a lower-court judge, he voted to uphold a spousal notification requirement for abortion in Pennsylvania. That part of the law was struck down in 1992’s Planned Parenthood v. Casey—which reaffirmed but ultimately weakened Roe—and Alito very much appears to be on the verge of writing the majority opinion overturning both Roe and Casey. To say that Alito has dreamed about this day is a supreme understatement.

And now, we present photos of Justice Alito reacting to the strident words of Justice Alito.

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