If You Like It, You Shoulda Put A Presidential Nomination On It

By Megan Carpentier | January 13, 2009 | 5:20pm

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I am coming from you live from Foreign Policy‘s chair at the Hillary Clinton confirmation hearing, but that doesn’t mean I’m ignoring gay pastors, Bush’s bull or what Palin gossip won’t pass Meghan McCain‘s lips.

So, yes, Hillary Clinton is speaking about her nomination and the Obama Administration’s views on a variety of important foreign policy issues, all of which have been vetted up the wazoo by the incoming Administration so if you were expecting to hear something unscripted, you mostly have to listen to the Code Pink people in the audience who keep slipping up on the whole “being quiet” thing but haven’t yet been kicked out. I also saw Andrea Mitchell in the flesh, but despite recognizing her, she didn’t seem to recognize me. I’m attributing that to the fact that I am wearing my hair up. Anyway, it’s pretty clear she’s going to get grilled on Gaza and donations to the Clinton Foundation which should totally not be boring except when it will be.

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In what is totally not an effort to make up for the Rick Warren thingie, the Inaugural Committee announced that the openly homosexual Episcopal New Hampshire bishop V. Gene Robinson will be giving the invocation at the opening event of the whole inaugural clusterfuck on Sunday, just before Beyoncé takes the stage and tells the world that if he likes he, he shoulda put a ring on it. And, although like too many people on YouTube Mike Huckabee, like, totally taught himself that dance he is not pro-gay. His colleague in non-gay Republican-ness, former Ohio Secretary of State Ken Blackwell knows that if he ever felt like wanted a dude to bend him over, he would totally resist the urge to take it up the ass.

Speaking of taking it up the ass, Harry Reid still ain’t shitting right after Roland Burris bent him over despite the parts where he seems like he’s quite possibly insane and was nominated by a guy that just got impeached. If Roland Burris can out maneuver Harry Reid, what the hell hope does Reid have of out-maneuvering the Republicans?

In the mean time, Obama is planning on reversing some of Bush’s more torturrific executive orders next week. Obama is getting so popular that even North Korea wanted to attend the Inauguration, but I think that was the plot of the sequel to Team America World Police so it’s not going to happen. Also not happening? Obama’s tax credit for new jobs that he promised during the campaign, but he is promising the stimulus won’t be sexist, so there’s that at least.

And while New York Governor David Paterson might or might not be violating open government laws by not speaking about who he’s thinking about nominating for Hillary’s seat, no one cares because Meghan McCain isn’t talking about Sarah Palin. Apparently, a catfight is still more interesting to most people than a Senate seat.