Jessica Alba Side-Eyes Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP

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Sometimes-actress, always-perfectly-symmetrical-faced-human being Jessica Alba wrote a book called The Honest Life: Living Naturally and True to You. She is marketing it as “like GOOP, but for Poors like you and me.”

Gwyneth Paltrow probably lives a very similar lifestyle, but I didn’t grow up with a bunch of money, so my tips are much more grounded: Repurposing things and making things at home.” She said that her book is an honest description of how she handles her life, without the perks of being a successful actress.

Unlike Gwynnie, Jessica Alba, her husband Cash Warren and their kids live in a house made of recycled Popsicle sticks. One strong gust of wind and, oh NOOO, it’s fallen down. They better go hit up the ice cream truck to get more sticks. 🙁 [Radar Online]

Rebel Wilson had a meeting about being in the next installment of The Hunger Games! But since the franchise is known for its secrecy, she didn’t say much about it.

“Um, seriously, I have had a meeting about being in The Hunger Games. It was one of the people in the Capitol. That’s all I’ll say… Yeah, because there aren’t a lot of roles open, because they’ve all already been cast, but that would be awesome. I’d love to be in The Hunger Games.”

She also met Jennifer Lawrence at a party once and says she was “super-duper nice,” as well as “quite tall.” [MTV UK]

Watch out, every woman in the world, except the ones who aren’t young and hot, and also the black ones: John Mayer is single, fresh out the kitchen, and going on his first tour in three years. Fleeing from the Full Metal Bra of ex Katy Perry, he’ll start in Milwaulkee this summer and travel the country (and make stops in Argentina and Brazil) into October. Use a condom. [Billboard]

A 20-year-old Hawaiian surfer with angelic blonde curls and the silly-ass name of John John Florence hinted that he was dating Taylor Swift.

During a surfing event in Queensland, an Australian TV reporter asked him about Swift because she had heard “a little bit of something” about the two.
“Yeah, you know, it’s kind of a secret thing going on right now,” he said, smiling. “Can’t bust it out in the public just yet.”

However, before everyone starts screaming about Taylor jumping like a Harlot Frog from lily pad dick to lily pad dick, her camp says that she’s never even texted John John John John John Florence. [E!]

Even though her butt won’t be parked in one of those crazy alien swivel chairs this season, Christina Aguilera went to the season 4 premiere of The Voice with a makeunder that looked gorgeously dewey as fuq. Like she just wiped her T-zone with rose petals and walked out the door. Props! [Us Weekly]

  • Lil Wayne thanks us for our concern in a video. Weeeezyyyy. [TMZ]
  • One Direction fans misunderstood the chance to find 100 free concert tickets and began rooting through bandmate Liam Payne’s garden. Humans are classy. [Digital Spy]
  • Kate Winslet joined the cast of the upcoming Divergent, based on YA dystopian novels, which some are billing as the next Hunger Games. [Dawn]
  • Matt Smith might be leaving Doctor Who. [Express]
  • Lindsay Lohan’s still gonna shoot her Anger Management episode before she heads to rehab, because the best thing to do before rehab is hang with human bath salts Charlie Sheen. [E!]
  • Girls Aloud is splitting up. Does that mean anything at all to you? [Express]
  • Headline of the day: something about Helena Bonham Carter “bringing the funk.” [Express]
  • Annnd here is some of the cast of The Big Bang Theory dressed up as Rocky Horror Picture Show characters. Anyone else still know all those songs by heart? No? Okay. (“So I’ll remove the cause… but NOT. THE SYMPTOM.” [Janet Charlton’s Hollywood]
  • Either Kris Jenner’s fridge icemaker produces crushed ice from the water of Ponce de Leon’s Fountain of Youth or she’s gotten a lot of work done. [Daily Mail]
  • Jon Hamm is into Justin Timberlake’s style. [People]
  • Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s daughter Seraphina got an adorable haircut. [Us Weekly]
  • New mom Fergie confessed on Good Morning America that she doesn’t know what she’s doing with the tiny new person who lives with her. [Us Weekly]
  • Queer Eye 10 year reunion!! [Page Six]
  • BIG ANG. From Mob Wives. Are you guys aware of silicone-riddled idiot savant Big Ang??! (Her romantic advice: “Always make the guy love you more.”) [Page Six]
  • Seth Meyers might replace Jimmy Fallon on Late Night. [Page Six]
  • Celebrity Mad Libs: Leonardo DiCaprio, Skrillex and an electronic cigarette. [Page Six]
  • Emma Watson got naked for Earth Day. [Page Six]
  • Michael Phelps has chest hair now. Word. [Radar Online]
  • Emma Stone’s Twitter got hacked. [Gossip Cop]
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