John Cleese will star alongside former Baywatch stars Pamela Anderson and David Hasslehoff in a film version of the 90s TV series. But there’s a catch—the filmmakers can’t use the name “Baywatch” in the film. At all.
The new film, directed by British filmmaker Chris Cottam and tentatively titled The B-Team, will incorporate familiar faces such as Anderson’s along with some pretty bizarre plot lines. (The lifeguards were maybe working for the CIA during that whole time? Sure, why not!) From The Independent:
In The B-Team the actors take on a crime-busting role more closely associated with Eighties series Charlie’s Angels and are assigned to thwarting Cleese’s character (Victor Van Vaught), who has grasped the technological powers required to launch an arsenal of nuclear rockets.
Because the filmmakers don’t have rights to the material, they’ve come up with a rather clever (and possibly hilarious) way to get around the copyright issue in the film:
[Any] mention of the famous series must be censored by an explosion or the knocking over of an expensive vase.
“It becomes a running joke,” said Cottam. “It’s a comic device that gets us through a lot of issues.”
The filmmakers are apparently going for an absurd Austin Powers-esque vibe which is an absolutely perfect way to reboot Baywa—I mean, B-Town. “We play ourselves, so the audience might not know what is true-to-life and what is made up for the movie,” said cast member Alexandra Paul. “And that is exactly what we want. Were we really agents for the US government during our heyday? The CIA has used famous people as spies before.”
Now, if someone could just greenlight my script for a rebooted version of Baywatch Nights, we’d be in business. I picture it with Donald Rumsfeld in the lead, taking over for the Hoff and Lola Falana playing the sexpot role. I also think I have a firm maybe disguised as a “please get off my driveway and don’t come back or I’m calling the cops” from one of the Mandrel sisters. Can’t remember which one, which is good because according to my lawyer, she can’t remember what I looked like either.
Image via Getty.