Kim Kardashian Is NOT Building a Doomsday Bunker, Says Kri—I MEAN Secret Inside Source

Underground vault? Ha! Kim welcomes the impending climate apocalypse slash inevitable class warfare, claims anon.

CelebritiesDirt Bag
Kim Kardashian Is NOT Building a Doomsday Bunker, Says Kri—I MEAN Secret Inside Source
Photo:David Livingston (Getty Images)

Despite claims that Kim Kardashian might be building an underground vault under her Hidden Hills mansion, an anonymous insider who might just be Kris Jenner using one of those shitty voice-changers Macauley Culkin had in Home Alone and Home Alone 2 says that she’s NOT.

To catch you up: One of Kim’s California neighbors has filed a lawsuit asking a judge to stop the Met Gala’s most fashionable dementor from adding a bunch of additions to her property, People reports. These additions include an “underground vault, subterranean parking, an attached subterranean ‘wellness center,’ and a detached guardhouse.” Why? Because all that new construction would “flatten two hills” thereby ruining the neighborhood’s “natural and rustic country setting,” not to mention that building on top of “two high-pressure gas transmission lines” could put “community members at risk of catastrophic bodily injury and irreparable real personal property damage” should shit go south.

Despite what is stated in the suit—which names the Hidden Hills Community Association as its respondent, for the record, not Kardashian for the record—its claims about Kim’s intentions are not necessarily true! At least, that’s what an unnamed source says. Speaking to TMZ, the insider swears that Kim has “ZERO plans” to build any of that, much less a massive underground vault that could definitely serve as an underground bunker to hide out in during the impending climate apocalypse slash inevitable class wars—something many billionaires and multi-millionaires are apparently installing under their homes these days! Thanks for clearing that up, source.

  • Robert Durst, a.k.a., the unsettling creep at the center of HBO’s 2015 miniseries The Jinx, was found guilty of first-degree murder in the 2000 death of his close friend, writer Susan Berman. [CNN]
  • Coinciding with the “birth” of his debut album, MONTERO, Lil Nas X set up a “baby registry” where fans can donate to various charities working to support trans people of color and end cash bail, among other efforts. He’s apparently raised tens of thousands of dollars for those groups so far! [TMZ]
  • Adele and boyfriend Rich Paul are Instagram official. [TMZ]
  • Professional boxer-turned-politician Manny Pacquiao, who has served in the Philippines’ Senate since 2016, is currently running for president in the country’s 2022 election. “Surely, he couldn’t be worse than Rodrigo Duterte,” I thought to myself as the wax holding my wings together melted under the late September sun, sending me plummeting into the sea. [NBC News]
  • “My husband is NOT mean to me!” yelled Hailey Bieber in her keynote address at the Literally Who Asked Convention. [Yahoo! Entertainment]
  • I was hanging out with a friend last night who didn’t know what I was talking about when I mentioned this video in conversation, which is A TRAVESTY!!!! All of you need to watch it right now. It’s an emergency. Please do it.

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Share Tweet Submit Pin