March Anthropologie: A Lush, Tropical Dream With Nightmarish Shoes


Vivid verdant backdrops dominate March’s Anthropologie catalog, which showed up in mailboxes last night, and the tropical fever dream carries right into the clothes: Hothouse flowers splashed on swimsuits; palm-leaf print dresses. The shoes, however, should be burned like kudzu.

I don’t know about you, but I always roam the jungle barefoot and in yellow pleated shorts. Sometimes I even sing “Bare Necessities.”

In all seriousness, the location is gorgeous. And it’s not that planet where the blue people live in Avatar. It’s Mexico!

As a fan of brights (and enemy of neutrals), I dig the “Saltaire blouse,” even though my rack is not designed for straplessness. $78? Ok. Sure.

Did anyone see The Ruins? Here’s hoping those vines don’t get any ideas. And perhaps there’s some water nearby, so this $228 bathing suit gets some use?

Though the “Wind Catcher dress” ($168) is breezy and pretty, the “Many Roads heels,” with that fug leather whipstitching, are ugly. And $198.

The “Leaflover Espadrilles”: Also nasty.

So torn! I didn’t like this idea when it was a dress on Jennifer Lopez at the 2003 Grammy Awards, so why would I like it now? And yet: Add a white wide-brimmed hat, some jangly jewelry and a beachy bungalow (not to mention a cabana boy) and I’ll take it. Gladly. Now where’s my margarita?

This here is a $188 swimsuit (“Accommodating Malliot”), a $48 “Flutter-By” necklace and a $128 “Ruffles & Ripples” skirt. It pains me to say: I love every stitch of it. Although I definitely think you can recreate this look with an $80 swimsuit and $30 sarong. Use your savings towards airfare to Mexico.

Ew, ew ew. Squash the ugly bugs!

Honestly, I loved this shoot! It reminded me of Henri Rousseau’s The Dream, and featured very little of the crafty thrift store crap I’ve come to expect (and loathe) from Anthro. I almost didn’t notice the clothes, because the flora was so inviting and exquisite. It’s been a long winter, and the greenery here is mesmerizing. I feel a little sad, because making fun of Anthro is my safe space. What the hell? What will I do now? Who am I?

Oh, I remember: I’m the girl who thinks this model looks like a deranged bride locked up in a padded room. The fact that the shoes are $420 just proves my point.

Clockwise from top left: Ugly $348 shoes, ugly $248 shoes, ugly $32 headband. The headband is called “epic” in the copy. That’s one word for it.

Sad bride is sad!

There’s more tropical in this catalog: The “Cooling Magma” dress is cute, but kind of busy, making it right on that line between appealing and appalling — though it could just be that the don’t-look-at-me-I’m-hideous shoes are a bad influence.

Adorable for a garden party, a spring wedding, a swing dance lesson or cocktails on the roof, I’m loving the “traced twirls” dress, so help me. The $395 “Tangerine Rind” clogs? Not so much. Very 1972 Sears catalog, and not in a good way.

Dear lord, the shoes! If the sides are cheeks and the toe opening is a mouth, they look like a person with bad skin, vomiting.

I really can’t get over the ugly. Blurg.

The pleated yellow shorts again. Still not convinced they’re a good idea on anyone but a model. That said, the “To The Sun” blouse is so super pretty.

At first glance, I thought this was a hydro weed greenhouse and wondered when Anthro had gotten so edgy.

Anthropologie [Official Site]

Earlier:February At Free People: Faux Flower Child Fashion Costs A Pretty Penny
J. Crew: Socks & Sensibilities
Barbie Collector: Dolls No Girl Should Ever Play With
Love Don’t Cost A Thing: Valentine’s Day At Dean & Deluca
Anthropologie: When You Long To Be A French Gamine
January At J. Crew: Sequin Shorts, Shitty Shoes & Other Insanities

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