Miley Cyrus's X-Rated VMA Performance Horrifies Everyone Everywhere

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Miley Cyrus took a cue from the Linda Blair Playbook during her “Blurred Lines” duet with Robin Thicke — who was dressed like a natty member of a 1920s chain gang, incidentally — at the MTV VMAs last night. Specifically, she danced with some life-sized teddy bears, took off her furry teddy (get it?) to reveal nude underwear, rubbed up against Thicke and used one of those big foam fingers for sporting events to stimulate both of them.

Some good quotes from Media Outlets:

“Lewdly thrusting out her tongue and nastily stroking her crotch.”
“Not content with grinding on Thicke, Cyrus used the foam finger to stroke herself in between her own legs as well as thrust her pelvis at the audience.”

The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! You guys all saw the picture of the Smith family’s reactions, right? Stellar. [NYDN, Radar Online]

Miley’s album BANGERZ has cover art out now. [Gossip Cop]

Wand Erection opens their mouths, and boom: “Shut the fuck up,” plus sassy head bob — Taylor Swift With Marilyn Monroe Hair, run and tell it on the mountain. [NYDN]

Here’s the entire 2-minutes-and-change much-touted *NSYNC reunion. They also joined Twitter to promote it, but there won’t be an album or any more performances. [NYDN]

Jessica Biel wasn’t at the VMAs, and Justin Timberlake didn’t thank her in his acceptance speech for the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award. The greatest trick Jessica Biel ever pulled… [Just Jared]

In sadder, non-VMA related news, Lamar Odom has been missing for the last three days and is possibly on a bender. Khloe Kardashian kicked him out of the house last Wednesday after he refused her attempts at an intervention. Odom has allegedly been addicted to crack for at least the last 2 years and consistently refused help.

He managed to stay clean during the L.A. Clippers’ past season, but once it was over he went back to his addiction. Source: “[Khloe and Lamar] really do love each other. But she really feels that this problem is out of control, and she’s hurt that he won’t get help.” [HuffPo, TMZ]

  • Chris Brown won’t be charged for allegedly attacking a woman in a nightclub in June. [TMZ]
  • Eeee, an Instagram photo of Anna Wintour now exists. [The Cut]
  • Riff Raff doesn’t want you to watch him jerk off, which makes two of us. [TMZ]
  • Dr. Luke will be the new judge on American Idol. [NYDN]
  • Oh okay, now Ed Sheeran and Ellie Goulding might be dating. [Gossip Cop]
  • Katie Holmes ground on, um, Colin Powell. [Page Six]
  • Eminem has announced his new album MMLP2 and single “Berzerk.” Mom’s spaghetti. [Gossip Cop]
  • Romeo and Juliet co-stars Orlando Bloom and Condola Rashad on a motorcycle is pretty breathtaking. [NYDN]
  • Drake and Rihanna had dinner. [Page Six]
  • Prince forgot to bring cash at dinner. Game: Blouses. [Page Six]
  • Here are some of Gaga’s VMA rehearsal photos. [NYDN]
  • Oh and Danity Kane announced their reunion, if that means anything to you. From Making The Band. [Gossip Cop]
  • Last night I was in the press herd at the VMAs and ended up crawling on the red carpet to retrieve an empty Hennessy bottle that a shitfaced A$AP Rocky dropped there. It is now the #1 possession I would save from my burning apartment, besides my cat.
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