Murderous Squirrel Attacks Man Taking Selfie


A man found himself on the wrong end of a camera-shy squirrel this week.

A Redditor named Supplenupple was enjoying a pleasant hike in one of America’s fine outdoor recreational areas, when he spotted a seemingly innocent and friendly-looking squirrel. Possibly wanting to deliver proof to worried loved ones that no, he doesn’t spend all his time on Reddit arguing with strangers, the young man decided to take a picture with the animal.

That’s when things turned sour. The animal, who our sources tell us is known in the park as a squirrel version of 90s Sean Penn, then turned on the man. Via Buzzfeed:

“I approached it making a clicking noise with my tongue; phone drawn,” he said. “When I got close enough, the squirrel actually tried grabbing my phone. I shook it off, then snapped this photo.”
“Next thing I knew, the squirrel was on my shoulder, then under my shirt, and then hanging off my back!” He told BuzzFeed. “This photo is courtesy of my mom, who collapsed laughing shortly after.” “No rabies shot was necessary,” the victim told BuzzFeed, hinting darkly at what might have been.

So we know that birds are out to get us. And of course our Cat Overlords are slowly plotting to murder us all in our sleep and take over the world, once they defeat Team Dog and learn how to open cans of Fancy Feast on their own. But up until now, we had no idea where squirrels fit in to all of this. This changes everything in the game.

Image via Imgur.

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