Rise Up, Children, Don't Be Fooled by Salad 'Frosting'

Rise Up, Children, Don't Be Fooled by Salad 'Frosting'
Screenshot: (Kraft Lie Like a Parent)

Kraft’s latest vehicle for ranch dressing is designed to trick kids into eating more vegetables by labeling the condiment as salad “frosting.” This will not work—but more than that, it is disrespectful to children, who deserve to know what foods are cake and what foods are not.

Kraft thinks that by putting ranch dressing in a tube and making it look kind of like a box of Funfetti cake mix, that kids will suddenly jump at the opportunity to eat a bowl full of steamed broccoli or carrots. Kids know better. Children must rise up and demand more transparency at the dinner table to avoid situations like these! Except for kids who do like ranch dressing—if that’s you, this is actually pretty good timing; I would demand salad “frosting” at every meal, and refuse to eat otherwise.

But otherwise, please, do not fall for this gimmick. Your parents and this faceless corporation that otherwise sells pretty good mac ‘n’ cheese may tell you what you’re about to enjoy is as enjoyable as a plate full of cookies, but it is not. If salad “frosting” is going to show up on your plate, it’s probably accompanying some cauliflower, or a simple side salad that would be better served by a nice vinaigrette: balsamic, Italian, your standard lemon and olive oil, anything. As much as I love ranch, there’s a number of flavor experiences out there for you to choose from, and you do not have to settle for this. Don’t be afraid. Ask for more.

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