Sad Sparkly Vampire Robert Pattinson Sick of Being Famous

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Robert Pattinson reportedly does not want to be famous before. Oddly, though, he isn’t following “I don’t want to be famous” protocol (putting a paper bag over
your head that announces your intention to the world; wearing sweatpants tucked into socks).

According to a source, he’d like to do more indie films and eventually move behind the camera: “The cost of fame is the thing he and Kristen [Stewart] used to complain about all day and that hasn’t changed at all for him.” I mean, it makes sense: being as famous as Robert Pattinson is must be terrifying and isolating and supremely inconvenient. And nothing is more terrifying than a mass of excitable Twilight fans. Poor Rob. [Radar]

Kate Middleton, a woman whose job is basically “be too important and beloved to pick up dog poop,” took her dog on a walk and picked up his poop. It was a very important and newsworthy event indeed. [E!]

Stevie Nicks loves Game of Thrones so much — she wants to write music for the show, and she’s already written poetry about it. It is literally inexcusable that people aren’t working hard enough to facilitate a Stevie-GoT collaboration (my suggestion is that one of the dragons shocks the citizens of Westeros with a moving rendition of “Landslide”). [Hollywood Reporter]

  • Kelis is getting her own show on the Food Network. It will be called “Saucy and Sweet.” If she doesn’t make at least one milkshake on it, then why are we even living? [Billboard]
  • Selena Gomez was spotted out on the town with Niall Horan from One Direction. Praise the goddess above that she’s hanging out with someone who isn’t Justin Bieber. [NY Daily News]
  • Malin Akerman covered the tattoo she got in honor of her former husband (but didn’t really cover it; I’m so confused; anyway, the moral of the story is think twice before getting someone’s name tattooed on you unless it’s a respected wizard like Gandalf or Jaden Smith). [Gossip Cop]
  • Kendall Jenner walked in London Fashion Week in addition to New York Fashion Week. Much fashion. Very beloved more than Kim by the industry. [Gossip Cop]
  • Rihanna is getting sued again for plagiarizing images in her S&M video. More like, “I may be bad but I’m perfectly bad at it!!!!” (I’ll show myself out.) [Page Six]
  • Miley Cyrus put a fan’s thong in her mouth after it was thrown on stage. It seems irresponsible to be putting a stranger’s underwear on her tongue, which is her most valuable asset and signature accessory. [ONTD]
  • Lorde wore lipstick that wasn’t purple. [ONTD]
  • Stassi Schroeder from Vanderpump Rules (the best show on all of television, as it follows a pack of angsty and lascivious waitstaff) says that she wants to “make Jennifer Lawrence into a style icon.” Lol uh ok. Maybe next you can do Kate Moss. [OK!]
  • One of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills put a spell on another one’s computer. One time my Latin teacher in high school put a spell on someone’s coat, so there is a precedent for this. [People]
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