Lainey Gossip passes along this report, plucked from OK! with a warning to consider the source. An “insider” told the mag that the line will include “diapers, bath and body products and infant clothing.” High-end, of course. (Because your baby deserves to immediately outgrow only the finest togs.) It’s not a terrible idea—babies just keep being born, and much like wedding planning, pregnancy requires acquiring lots of specialized knowledge very quickly, even though it’s useful for a limited time only unless you can parlay it into some sort of money-making enterprise. (Because other mothers-to-be are only going to take so much info-dumping.) Worked for Jessica Alba!
But we’d like to make a few humble suggestions for potential products, in the spirit of the Preserve brand:
- Bibs hand-smeared with the finest baby barf
- Crumbling antique toddler frocks and Victorian sailor suits for boys and girls (limited availability, of course)
- Artisanally soiled diapers, made from high-end ethically sourced cloth
- Antebellum mansion dollhouses (historical context sold separately, like on another site entirely)
- Educational toys carved by mountaintop monks from rare unicorn horns
- Safe, gentle shampoo crafted from mermaid tears collected in the light of the full moon six hundred years ago
- Baby’s first $250 yoga pants
Best of luck, Blake!
Image via Getty.