Thanks To Obama, New Puppy & New Economy Are Imminent


President Obama’s speech to Congress last night was full of promises and calls to actions, but it buried a bunch of other news on Iraq, Roland Burris and Hilda Solis.

Barack Obama gave his Don’t-Call-It-A-State-Of-The-Union State of the Union speech last night, which you can read here but I will summarize as follows: economy bad, America strong, gonna get better with your help and money from Congress, inspiration, Hope, Change, hey Michelle! and fin. You know, typical Obama speech. It was followed up by a bedtime story from Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal as read to a class of 2nd graders. Even though the post-SOTU speeches are generally universally terrible and anyone who wants a permanent place on the national stage ought to know better than to agree to give one, even Republicans agree that Jindal’s was worse than normal and it didn’t help that he referenced the federal government response to Katrina as a positive thing and then gave props to a racist sheriff. Eric Holder, who was watching in an undisclosed location in case of catastrophe, was probably pissed that he was in an undisclosed location watching it since the rest of the Cabinet probably wasn’t even home yet and didn’t have to suffer like him.

But wait! There was other news! Like the fact that the White House let it slip just before Obama’s speech that the Administration is going to do a 19 instead of a 16 month pull-out from Iraq and it is going to leave about 50,000 troops there even when they’re done pulling out (which does, unfortunately, tend to be how the Withdrawal Method works, after all). Illinois Senator Dick Durbin announced that he’d suggested Roland Burris resign and Burris refused because he really likes being Senator and hasn’t been charged with anything… which is just like how David Vitter likes being Senator and didn’t want to resign over getting caught banging hookers, only David Vitter doesn’t think the scandals are the same because Roland Burris isn’t getting laid.

In the meantime, the Senate finally coughed up a confirmation for Hilda Solis to be Labor Secretary and a bunch of Republicans remained grumpy about it. Janet Napolitano isn’t going to play with your fear of terrorism by saying the word “terrorism” constantly, which Republican Congressman Peter King of Long Island thinks is a terrible thing because, how else is he supposed to get re-elected if not by beating the 9/11 drum that Rudy so helpfully left for him?

Lastly, People is reporting that the White House puppy is coming in April, following spring break. Michelle’s leaning toward a Portuguese water dog, but they haven’t picked out a name yet, so start your suggestions below.

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