Today's Royal Wedding Headline Count: 8 And Counting


Welcome to Wednesday’s wrapup of the obligatory barrage of Royal Wedding news. Is any of it real news? No. But is there a lot of it? Oh, yes.

First and most importantly: Kate Middleton’s parents have met the Queen. I repeat: the Middletons have met the Queen. They — along with Prince Philip, presumably — all had lunch at Buckingham Palace. Even People admits that “scant details” are available, but that doesn’t stop them from speculating that the Middletons “may” have seen the Queen at the St. Andrews graduation. Anyhow, someone leaked that there was a “warm atmosphere” — and that a bunch of other “members of the household were there.”

Speaking of the Family Middleton, they’re getting a coat of arms. They got to start from scratch, which is kind of fun, and worked with Thomas Woodcock, the garter king of arms, on a design that involves three oak sprigs to represent Catherine, Pippa and James (reportedly Kate’s idea) and which is “strong, simple, and very English.” It’ll be on the program; later, it will be combined with the Windsor coat of arms into a single crest. Cutting it kind of close, aren’t they?

Obsessive royal-watchers, brace yourselves: Buckingham Palace has reportedly ignored “pleas” from American networks to keep their facade lights on all night so they can have a pretty backdrop for their prime-time broadcasts. Instead, they’re turning them off at midnight, which you’d think would give all the networks a chance to get a shot, but no, they apparently want real-time footage of the building. Instead, they may have to decamp to Westminster Abbey. God! Don’t they understand that there are Americans who want to watch TV? We don’t care that you want to sleep! You’ll live on our timetable and like it! Or, you know, not. But don’t fret, Yanks: you can still watch the whole wedding on YouTube’s “Royal Channel.”

Okay, time for more bad news: you can’t buy that bizarre see-through dress that made Kate Middleton a princess (as seen in Lifetime’s “William and Kate”) because “an unidentified male British buyer” has purchased it for $125,781, and will now, obviously, marry Prince Harry.

Of course, not everyone is pro-wedding. And I’m not even talking about republicans. “Who are these royal wedding fans? One doesn’t know such people socially,” sniffs one Guardian writer. She adds, ” If you don’t like it, why not register your displeasure by putting in a full day’s work on the bank holiday you’re getting out of it? I know I will be.” I’m sure she’ll get plenty of takers.

Someone else who resents the royal couple? This British headhunter whose April 29th wedding is being totally overshadowed by Kate and Wills. “I like to think that Kate and Will are getting married on our wedding day, not the other way around,” says Kayleigh Ansell. She adds,

We’d picked Friday, April 29, months before them, but suddenly the hotels and taxis around our venue all upped their prices because it became a Bank Holiday. That means the cost has risen by more than £1,500, and our guests will have to pay more, too. It’s not just the money. Some of the shine and the excitement surrounding the run-up to our own wedding has gone because everyone is talking about someone else’s big day. I know it’s a huge occasion – and it’s lovely for the whole country – but our wedding is special, too.

And, hey, all their guests get the day off!

Oh, and don’t worry: with the wedding looming, the Daily Mail’s paps reassure us that “Kate Middleton skips along the King’s Road like any normal 29-year-old.” Also: “Kate appeared as a free as a bird and unencumbered by the trappings of a Queen in waiting.” Also: “She wore a £480 Issa short-sleeved black wrap dress and tan court kitten heels – accessorised with her 18-carat sapphire and diamond engagement ring.” And what did she buy? We’re glad you asked. At Warehouse she purchased “a bright bandeau frill dress, €60, feather print one shoulder dress, €60, lace trim blouse, €72 and a tropical print bird dress, €84.” And — as a professor of mine would have said — where’s the “so what?” Ecco: “Her choices may indicate that she and Prince William are going somewhere hot for their honeymoon.” ZOMG JUST LIKE WHERE HE PROPOSED.

Kate Middleton’s Parents Meet The Queen For The First Time [People]
Kate Gets Shield Of Dreams] [NY Post]
Lights Off At The Palace [NY Post]
Kate Middleton Wore See Through Dress On College Catwalk; Sexy Dress Sells For $125,781 At Auction [NY Daily News]
Who Are These Royal Wedding Fans? [The Guardian]
Wills And Kate Hijacked Our Wedding Date! [Daily Mail]
Enjoying Her Last Days Of Freedom [Daily Mail]
Kate’s High Street Honeymoon Wardrobe [RTE]

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