Try Not to Light Yourself on Fire This Halloween

By Doug Barry | October 21, 2012 | 10:00pm

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If not for all the poison candy (that’s not actually a thing, btw) and lazy, “I’m-a-baseball-fan!” sports apparel costuming, Halloween would be the Platonic ideal of holidays. Oh, and except for all the conflagrations — U.S. fire experts estimate that, during the witching season, people are far more likely to set themselves, their homes, their pets, their pumpkins, or their ill-conceived dragon costumes ablaze.

Thanks to booze, crappy Halloween decorations, and neighborhood hooligans, fires are a lot more common around Halloween time — the National Fire Incident Reporting System reports a rise in incendiary and suspicious fires between Oct. 30 and Nov. 1. Maybe that unnerves you, but, odds are, you’ll be so totally wasted on Halloween anyway that an unexpected fire in your home or costume will only strike you as hilarious. Especially if you decided to dress up as Ghost Rider or Katniss Everdeen. If this information has you wondering how best to achieve the coveted “fire look” this Halloween, you might want to check out some extra-flammable Banana Boat sunscreen, but hurry! It was recently recalled for maybe, possibly being able to immolate people.