Warning: Sexts Are Full of Dirty, Sexy Lies


In this age of ubiquitous smartphones, sexually explicit text messages are a vital part of the average American’s arsenal of raunch. However, it seems a lot of you people are lying liars, just making shit up to turn your partner’s crank.


That’s according to the Pacific Standard, which declares breathlessly that you should “Be Suspicious of Sexy Text Messages.” According to researchers from Indiana University-Purdue University Fort Wayne, in a study recently published in Computers in Human Behavior, “Deception during sexting with committed relationship partners appears to be fairly common.”

Of the 155 participants (average age just under 22), 109 reported they had sent a sexually explicit text message. Among that group, 48 percent admitted lying during sexting with a committed partner.

You’ve got to wonder how those numbers dovetail with the survey that suggested many people have engaged in “consensual but unwanted” sexting. And the study does suggest that, in some cases, mendacity might be a sign of trouble:

It found that people who fall into the “avoidant attachment” category—that is, they resist getting too emotionally close to their partner, because intimacy causes anxiety—were more likely to lie. For them, lying might be another way to keep their emotional distance—a need that does not bode well for the future of the relationship.

But I’d venture to guess lots of sexts are really more like tiny erotic fictions than literal depictions of what’s actually happening. Obviously! Because “in my underwear & so hot 4 u” is way more interesting, sexually, than “chillin in my sweats watching TDS but totally wld bang if u were here.” It can be an act of mutual fantasizing. Or an amusing diversion in which you try to come up with ever-more over-the-top nonsense before your sexting buddy stops and says “huh?” Either way, literal truth isn’t really the point.

Photo via Shutterstock.

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