Now, I don’t go out of my way to revel in the self-destruction of unhinged narcissists—this is, in essence, a sad story—but hooooooooooooly shit, you guys!!! Being needled by the hordes of Reddit and Facebook and Yelp and whoever has truly brought out the literary gold in these blessed children of god. Before you read on, I can’t recommend enough that you watch the above video and the first video here to get a taste of what you’re dealing with. (Highlights include: Amy shrieking about calling the police when a customer asks if he can please have the pizza he ordered from her pizza restaurant; Samy nearly physically assaulting said customer; the Kitchen Nightmares production staff intervening.)
And here’s what’s currently developing over at the Amy’s Baking Company Bakery Boutique and Bouzaglo Bistro Facebook page. As far as I can tell, Amy is in all-caps and Samy is lowercase:
(More here and here. Oh, and I just noticed that someone tagged one of their profile pics with “booger on table.” Which I enjoyed.)
Now, the Bouzaglos seem like they’re having some…emotional issues? And lord knows I understand how the internet hate machine can wear you down. So I hope they get the help they need—at least for the sake of their HUMAN CHILD.
But also, um, you guys presumably knew what Kitchen Nightmares was before you invited them to screw a bunch of showbiz lights into your ceiling and fly a famously pugilistic chef out to visit you and gum your doughy pizza? Right!? Did you not bother to watch a single episode before inviting Gordon Ramsay and his trim little waist to slice through your kitchen like a lithe, towheaded shark that runs on pure cold anger? Because I’ve got to say, in the grand scheme of the show, you guys got off easy. (Also, while we’re talking about Kitchen Nightmares, why the fuck does BBC America show the American version now instead of the British version? WHY SO MUCH MANUFACTURED SHOUTING AND WHERE IS THE PART WHERE HE CHANGES CLOTHES ON CAMERA FOR NO REASON. That is bullshit. Every shit. I am not a witch.)