What Kind of Super-Special Millennial Bride Will You Be?

In Depth

As the Millennial generation marches toward the marrying-age sweetspot of 25-35, the Wedding Industrial Complex is hustling to address the unique needs of these unique buyers.

This week word came down that noted purveyor of rompers, Revolve Clothing, is launching its first-ever bridal line. As you might expect, Revolve’s line is heavy on the Coachella bride look that we’ve seen so much of recently. Picking up where J. Crew left off—which, as a refresher, was with bridal shorts and bridal crop tops—Revolve offers a two-piece midriff number and floaty ruffles galore.

With so many choices for the hip bride, we’ve pulled together this primer on bridal trends to help you identify which type of Millennial bride you will be.

Will you be a crop top bride? The poor crop top brides. It’s no longer acceptable to declare yourself a crop top bride and be done with it; now you must decide which kind of crop top bride to be. Will you be the J. Crew rich hippie crop top bride, or will you be the Revolve Clothing rich hipster crop top bride? Decisions, decisions.

Will you be a flower crown bride?
Merely buying your garland isn’t authentic enough, which is why Stone Fox offers workshops where brides-to-be can weave together buds for that artisanal, locally-sourced, DIY feel.

Will you be a moss-covered bride?
If handmade hair wreaths don’t go far enough in conveying your devotion to our great green Earth, perhaps a compostable wedding dress is more your style? Microsoft Research artist-in-residence Erin Smith created a wedding dress made of fungus that takes a week to grow and is perfect for the ecologically inclined bride.

Will you be a 3-D printing bride?
Chinese printing concern Xuberance recently debuted a pair of wedding dresses fabricated entirely by a 3D printer. The dresses, which are made of nylon fused together by the printing mechanism, are strikingly lovely if a bit scratchy-looking.

These are all nice options but if we’re being honest, we’re still holding out for a wedding dress crafted entirely from mason jars.

Image via Good Housekeeping UK.

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