World's Hottest Felon Spills His Turn Ons in Televised Interview

By Erin Gloria Ryan | June 20, 2014 | 2:40pm

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Jeremy Meeks, the hOt CoNvIcT whose mug shot went viral yesterday because on one hand, violent crime is bad, but on the other, OMG THOSE CRYSTAL CLEAR EERILY HOLLOW BLUE EYES, has finally broken his silence and spoken. And, like many hot people facing possible prison terms, he doesn’t really care much that people think he’s attractive. He just wants to get out of jail.

Since yesterday, when the Stockton, California police department posted to its Facebook page a mug shot of Meeks and other alleged gang members arrested in a raid, America’s gotten all slippery over Meeks, a 30-year-old, 6’1″, 170 pound package of danger and sex but mostly danger, not the sexy kind of danger, the real kind of danger that results in uncomfortable bleeding. Not like sexy bleeding like on True Blood, scary I’m Gonna Die Probably bleeding like on Game of Thrones. Anyway, point is: a lot of people want to do sex type things to and with him; the mugshot has so far garnered 55,000 likes and counting, and more than 16,000 comments on Facebook.

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But this is the internet. And it’s summer. And it’s been a weird year. And so, of course people have gone Hero Cat bananas over him. Intrepid photoshoppers have digitally removed his tattoos and inserted him into various fashion ad campaigns, like this pretty believable Calvin Klein one.

He’s also been digitally inserted (lol that sounds like it should mean “finger banged”) into other ad campaigns, like Hugo Boss and Givenchy. And if you search for “Jeremy Meeks” on Facebook today, more than twenty fan groups pop up, one that has more than 21,000 members and features photos of Meeks besides the mugshot that made him sexy-famous. He is also good looking from other angles, ladies. Look how adorable he is with the child the justice system may separate him from:

That photo, by the way, was taken from this GoFundMe page, which is run by a woman named Katherine Angier who claims to be Meeks’s mother. Angier is trying to raise $25,000 to defend Meeks, who she says was on his way to work and has no gang affiliations anymore and was railroaded for having old tattoos.

(Sorry to bum you out with bum-out reality type stuff, guys. Let’s get back to the sexy pile on.)

It’s madness. We’ve been driven mad with lust by the image of this symmetrical maybe-reformed felon.

In a prison cell interview with a local news reporter who you can tell really hates everything about this story (including the part where he reads fawning Facebook comments allowed and pronounces “LOL” in its longform state of “Laughing Out Loud”), Meeks said that his wife relayed his popularity to him when she visited him in jail, and that while he’s done things he regrets in his past, he’s not the same guy anymore and he’s innocent. And he hopes he doesn’t have to go to prison again. He’s already served a nine-year term.

Yeah, tell that to the judge….s on America’s Next Top Model! Amirite? Amirite? God, the poverty stricken pipeline into the criminal justice system in this country is too depressing and complicated for me to think about right now. More pics!

Images via Facebook.