I didn’t see Blackfish, mostly because I think it would make me horribly depressed and I need no convincing that keeping killer whales in tanks is a pretty fucking bad (and cruel) idea, but from what I hear, the documentary does a pretty good job at condemning SeaWorld as an evil institution that probably shouldn’t be around anymore. (The animal park’s stocks have plummeted 25% in the year since the film premiered.)
That said, SeaWorld wants a chance at winning back our hearts and minds (HARD PASS, thanks). How? By reminding us how fun and whimsical they are with a beautiful float at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City. This won’t just be any old float; this float will be topped with a majestic, breaching Orca whale — you know, the same kind of whale that’s known for going crazy and occasionally killing its trainers when kept in captivity for too long.