The world is a terrifying place where literally anything could go wrong at literally any moment. And if your Christmas list includes the sort of person whose idea of a dream home includes a nuclear fallout shelter-cum-Y2K bunker-cum-biological attack shack, you’re going to give them something to assuage their unyielding paranoia.
1. Pepper Spray Phone Case Perfect for the woman (or man) who watches a lot of local news or reads a lot of feminist-ish online content (HELLO THERE), the Mace Case combines an iPhone case and debilitating self-defense spray. Plus, nothing says “don’t even fucking think about stealing my phone out of my hand as the subway doors are closing, shifty-eyed teenager” like your finger on a pepper spray button as you play Angry Birds. $39.95 [Spraytect]
2. Ultimate Emergency Auto Kit It seems like every winter, there’s another story about some woman driving alone through the Rockies only to end up stranded under a pile of snow and subsisting on ketchup packets and her own pee for weeks before being discovered. And, of course, your favorite paranoid person has spent hours in the grip of fear that one day that could happen to her. Enter the Ultimate Emergency Auto Kit, which contains provisions you’d expect — like high calorie bars, jumper cables, and a first aid kit— and some items that you might not expect, but that you’d certainly be glad to have in an emergency — like a tool that can be used to cut seatbelts, a spotlight, and a tire gauge. $140.49 [The Ready Store]
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