Elizabeth Holmes Still Wants to Be an Affordable Healthcare Warrior

A Reputation Tour mention! White woman activism! Self-victimization! That can only mean one thing: A new Elizabeth Holmes profile—her first from prison—just dropped.

By Audra Heinrichs  |  February 12, 2025 | 5:03pm
Photo: Getty Images CelebritiesMisc. Goss
Elizabeth Holmes Still Wants to Be an Affordable Healthcare Warrior

The day has finally arrived: the turtleneck-wearing, green juice-toting biotech charlatan known as Elizabeth Holmes has been profiled from prison. And by People magazine, no less. Spoiler alert: She did not address her reported friendship with fellow inmate and former Real Housewife of Salt Lake City, Jen Shah. Still, Holmes covered a lot of ground in the piece.

Some highlights include the fact that her hotel heir partner proposed with a silver snake ring purchased at Taylor Swift’s Reputation Tour; she “truly did not think” she would ever be found guilty; and she’s currently biding her time in prison as a law clerk and French teacher. Oh, and, despite that she was convicted of fraud and is now known around the world as the con artist once portrayed by Amanda Seyfried, she hasn’t stopped writing patents for new inventions or making plans to resume her career in healthcare technology for when she’s released in 2032. Cool!

“There is not a day I have not continued to work on my research and inventions,” Holmes told People. “I remain completely committed to my dream of making affordable healthcare solutions available to everyone.” Respectfully, if I’m going to seek the wisdom of an incarcerated person regarding affordable healthcare solutions, I’m hitting up Luigi Mangione first and everyone else second.

In more textbook white-woman-who-got-caught behavior, Holmes said she also plans to devote herself to criminal justice reform after her release. She cited a bill she recently drafted herself that she titled the American Freedom Act bill, which would bolster the presumption of innocence and change criminal procedure.

“This will be my life’s work,” Holmes said. Her mission, she continued, is to advocate on behalf of other incarcerated people who’ve been “ripped away from their children.” Let us not forget that, unlike many people, Holmes had the choice not to be separated from her children considering she had them after she was already on trial.

Anyway! The point is that Holmes mentions a lot of things, but guilt for how her actions impacted innocent people? It’s not one of them. Quick reminder: doctors and patients testified that the blood tests Holmes developed and marketed were nothing but a scam during the trial. One patient was told he might have prostate cancer. He didn’t. Another was informed she’d had a miscarriage. She was actually pregnant and would go on to have a healthy baby.

Instead, it appears Holmes only continues to victimize herself. She refers to her current conditions at Federal Prison Camp Bryan as “hell and torture,” and, far be it from me to deny poor prison conditions or co-sign the prison industrial complex but, Holmes’ minimum security facility lets inmates work for pay, watch television, attend a myriad of classes, play sports, and boasts several other amenities. Rikers, this is most certainly not.

“It’s surreal. People who have never met me believe so strongly about me. They don’t understand who I am,” Holmes said. “It forces you to spend a lot of time questioning belief and hoping the truth will prevail. I am walking by faith and, ultimately, the truth.”

OK, girl!

 
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