This week, Selena Gomez and Gracie Abrams released a collaboration, a single from Gomez’s forthcoming album, entitled, “Call Me When You Break Up.”
If you haven’t heard it yet, it’s pretty much just a duet where Gomez and Abrams plead with someone to give them a ring as soon as they…dump their partner. As far as recent Top 40 linkups go, it’s certainly no “Extra L” courtesy of Doechii and Jennie and it definitely doesn’t hold a candle to “Fat, Juicy, and Wet”—shoutout to Bruno Mars and Sexxy Red (this should be read with partial sarcasm). But according to Gomez, “Call Me When You Break Up” is not to be taken at face value. It’s much deeper, actually.
“To get an obvious statement out of the way, this song is actually about a best friend that I have in my life,” she told listeners at a recent preview. “So it’s not about anything you think it is.” That really clears things up, thanks! So, are we singing to all the best friends we have that we secretly hope dump their loser partners and become single soon? In fairness, I do have a lot of those. However, these lyrics (Abrams’ verse, namely) seem to indicate a greater intimacy:
I’m battling the lack of us, I look for medication Tried every obvious replacement In bars and strangers’ beds until my faith was in the basement Won’t you call me when you break up? I feel so out of luck I’m skipping cracks along the pavement Like I’m emotionally bankrupt We’re so meant for each other, I mean, God, when will you wake up, wake up?
Huh. I personally have never turned to substances, sex, or crack-skipping over a friend…at least, a friend I’m not a little in love with. Could that be what Gomez means by “not anything you think it is?” Given the music video sees Gomez and Abrams (in matching brunette bobs) romping around on a bed together, I guess I could make the case for this being “Good Luck Babe” for people who don’t care much about lyrics or vocals or just overall enjoyment? Gomez hasn’t given any indication.
Unfortunately, it’s made worse by the fact that her fiancé, Benny Blanco, produced the song and—for some reason—made himself a part of its Instagram promotion. If you need a giggle, I recommend taking a look as it’s the equivalent of the “we’ve all seen the pictures, she looks absolutely beautiful…and um…he’s there” meme. And for another unspecified reason, he’s lying in a bed with both Gomez and Abrams…
Anyway, you get it. I can’t quite tell whether this is a pick-me anthem or a Chappell Roan reject. But one thing remains certain: Men ruin everything.
