Thanks to Facebook and Twitter, our pool of professional connections is as expansive as our list of friends. While it’s savvy to make use of your list of contacts when asking for a work-related favor, it’s important to remember that your “friend” online is a more than just a pal when you’re asking him or her for a professional favor. Here are some suggestions for the next time you shoot an email requesting help from someone you know (or someone who someone you know knows).
Say please and thank you.
“Who doesn’t say please and thank you when asking for a favor?” you ask. To which I say, “You’d be surprised.” I am as guilty as anybody of shooting off emails without carefully proofreading them, but when you’re asking someone to help you out with something, basic manners are essential. One of my patented Ways In Which I’m Becoming My Mother And I Don’t Even Care is that if someone asks me a favor and neglects the P and TY, I’m inclined to ignore it. Without please and thank you, it reads as if you expect assistance, and aren’t requesting it.
Explain why you’re asking this person this particular favor (if necessary)
Recently I was sent a book to blurb, with no explanation whatsoever how the author knew me or why I was being asked to read and comment on the book. Was it for my humor writing? My nonfiction? The fact that I’m a woman? I figured I’d be a nice guy anyway and follow up with the author’s publicist, asking about the deadline. I was given a deadline, but after I asked why the author requested my blurb, I received no explanation as to why I was asked to do this. So I’m skipping it, half because I don’t know what they really want from me, and also because if the publicist can’t be bothered to return my email, I’m not inclined to spend time reading a book and crafting a response to it.
On another occasion, a writer emailed me asking me to read and provide comments on his novel. He finished his pitch with something along the lines of “I have to admit I don’t know who you are or anything. I guess I should have googled you first lol.” I gently told him, for next time, you should at the very least not tell the person you’re asking to do a time-intensive favor that you know nothing about her. (He then wrote back asking if I did know someone who could help, to which I did not reply.) Telling the person you’re writing “I’m asking your input because I know you’re well-versed on the topic of ___” or “I really enjoy your pieces at ___ and was wondering if you knew whether they were open to new writers” isn’t just flattering—it shows that you know what you’re talking about. On that note, though, be mature about it. Don’t say “Because you kick ass and you’re a rock star, I thought you could help me.” That means nothing.
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