Two nights ago, I attended an issue launch party for an art magazine in a small basement club that had the distinct ambience of a chic ancient Roman holding cell. Part of this very studied atmosphere included a garment rack at its entrance—basically, an unminded, self-serve coat check where anyone could hang their jacket as they saw fit.
I declined. I have a very nice jacket, and I don’t know these art people! But it brought up the perennial conundrum that we all have from time to time: where in the club to stash our coats when either there is no coat check, or the coat check line is way too long, or we have a problem with paying to hang the coat on principle, or the club has an uneven temperature, or any number of reasons. For years, I’ve overcompensated by deliberately carrying handbags that are giant enough to store my coat if necessary, but that’s not always ideal, either, because then where do you stash the purse? The last thing you need if you’re trying to dance on a crowded dance floor is a giant handbag impeding your studiedly smooth two-step.
Vetements, the super-cool Parisian label that makes those giant jumpers Rihanna wears as dresses and is no doubt the single reason the arms on Yeezy sweatshirts are purposely eight inches too long, has solved this problem once and for all by introducing the personal coat check: a metal ring fastened to your belt loop that’s intended for hanging your jacket.
There was some other shit on display, too—wackily-cut schoolgirl and office uniforms pent up with hyper-pinned, massage-needing shoulders that seemed to comment on the bean-counter life, plus a bunch of stuff that referenced sexual bondage—but I don’t care about those things because I am so fixated on this idea of having a personal coat check, an ingenious way of solving a generations-long problem.
Of course it seems like it will work best if your jacket is not bulky, so the conundrum is still extant for those long and icy winters, but in the limbo after the freeze breaks but before spring rears its horny head, this belt hook is ideal. PLUS: if your dancefloor turn-up is subtle—a very chill two-step, a sensually understated slow wine—it will make you look that much suaver doing so with an accessory at your hip, emphasizing your choreography but not impinging upon it.
This is perhaps the greatest day of my club-going life.
