Conservative Men Lose It Over Ads Reminding Women They Can Vote Without Husband’s Approval

As polling shows a steady gender gap between support for Donald Trump and Kamala Harris, Julia Roberts narrates a new ad for Harris with the progressive evangelical group Vote Common Good, in which Roberts reminds women they can vote for Harris secretly, without their husband’s knowledge.

“In the one place in America where women still have a right to choose, you can vote any way you want and no one will ever know,” Roberts says, referring to voting booths. Another Vote Common Good ad for Harris’ campaign shows a wife attending a polling place with her pro-Trump husband and, herself, clandestinely voting for Harris.

Since the ads came out on Monday, conservative men have proven why such a message might be helpful to women. On Wednesday, Fox News host Jesse Watters—who met his current wife while she interned for him, after he slashed her tires—declared, “If I found out Emma [Watters’ wife] was going into the voting booth and pulling the lever for Harris, that’s the same thing as having an affair. That violates the sanctity of our marriage. What else is she keeping from me?” (Watters would know a little something about extramarital affairs, given that he and his current wife began their relationship while he was married to someone else.) Watters continued, “That would be D-Day.” Believe it or not, threatening to inflict “D-Day” on your spouse should she vote against your political views actually makes it pretty clear why some women might need to know they can vote secretly.

jesse: if i found out my wife secretly voted for harris, “that’s the same thing as having an affair… that violates the sanctity of our marriage… that would be D Day” pic.twitter.com/nbZF3U4X1R

— helena hind (@cynicalzoomer) October 30, 2024

Charlie Kirk, the founder and president of the right-wing Turning Point USA, stopped by The Megyn Kelly Show this week to take Watters’ comments even further. “[Harris] needs people to basically lie to their husbands—which they are promoting, by the way, which I find that entire advertising campaign so repulsive. It is the embodiment of the downfall of the American family,” Kirk said. “Kamala Harris and her team believe there will be millions of women who will undermine their husbands and do so in a way that’s not detectable in the polling.” It’s certainly something to hear Kirk talk about the “downfall of the American family,” not referring to Trump’s endless affairs and abortion bans that have subjected families to unthinkable violence—but referring, instead, to someone voting against Trump.

Charlie Kirk is upset that Republican women may “undermine their husbands” and secretly vote for Harris while telling their husbands they voted for Trump, even though the husband “works his tail off to make sure that she can have a nice life.” pic.twitter.com/3ttLOqROBy

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) October 31, 2024

Conservative author Dale Partridge weighed in tweeting on Tuesday, “In a Christian marriage, a wife should vote according to her husband’s direction. He is the head and they are one. Unity extends to politics. This is not controversial.” Actually, the idea that a man innately holds power over his wife’s politics is both incredibly controversial and incredibly incorrect! 

The right-wing backlash to Harris ads reminding married women of their voting rights came the same week as an illuminating report in The Cut featuring the stories of four women who say they’re voting for Harris, in some cases secretly, while their husbands will vote for Trump. One woman answered a question she seemed to know social media users would ask: Why remain with a Trump supporter? “I have the option to stay and try to change his mind, or I can leave and potentially be homeless with my children. So I’m gonna stick it out and try to get him to come around,” she said.

Controlling a partner’s voting or political activities is a common feature of domestic abuse. I’ve interviewed domestic violence survivors who recount having had partners intercept voting materials or walked with them into the voting booth, telling poll workers their wife needs help because she’s “slow.” (To be clear, this is illegal, and the National Network to End Domestic Violence offers a list of safety tips for domestic violence victims seeking to vote.) Some of the women I’ve spoken with said they didn’t recognize these behaviors as abusive because they didn’t entail physical violence. 

Political canvassers often share stories of Republican husbands refusing to let their wives, who are registered Democrats, talk to them. We only have anecdotal data that suggests controlling husbands are more likely to be Republican, but we do know that Republican policies—like, say, abortion bans and cuts to the social safety net—tend to afford abusers greater power over victims.

When male Fox News hosts and GOP operatives threaten “D-Day” against their wives for disobeying them in the voting booth, or accuse them of failing at their wifely duties by not voting like their husband, it becomes clear why an ad campaign reminding wives to vote however they want is actually a great idea.