If you expected me to be a certified lover girl just because it’s Valentine’s Day, think not. Even on this day, I refuse to sit out any opportunity to drag a certified *alleged* pedophile. You know where I’m going with this. Let’s quickly talk about Drake’s new album.
On the first track, “Gimme a Hug,” Drake likens himself to Neo in The Matrix, presumably because he fancies himself talented at cheating death and insinuates that artists like Lamar are only name-checking him to nab headlines: “Small fish, making kids feel emotion/Using you for promotion.” I’ve prayed for delusion like this…
Later on the track, he doesn’t name Lamar outright but theorizes that if he weren’t around to impart his lyrical genius, girls would have no choice but to be “on stage twerkin’ with a dictionary.” So, Drake sees Lamar’s style as too intellectual? Sick burn, bro. He also hit out against a different accusation on the song: that he has hair plugs.
“Guilt trips, not Turks trips when it’s cold out here in February,” he raps. I don’t know about you all, but that’s not the allegation I’d be too worried about addressing here. Anyway! Personally, I think the best part is when Drake denounces the back-and-forth with Lamar altogether.
“Fuck a rap beef, I’m tryna get the party lit,” he raps near the song’s conclusion. Baby, the party has been lit. Surely, you’ve noticed that everyone—from children at a father-daughter dance to multiple sold-out crowds—has had a lot of fun yelling “a minor!”
On another track, “Brian Steel,” Drake once again addresses an unspecified feud, rapping: “Broski just hit me, said, ‘Put all the beef on the side,’ I can’t.” He then clarifies that he’s “vegan now.” Oh, and for what it’s worth, on “Glorious,” he asks: “You said your mama kicked you out, so where the fuck you ’bout to go?” Why he—at his big age of almost 40—is addressing a woman who still lives with their mother is…a question I’m afraid to learn the answer to, frankly.
Even with litigation looming, it appears the score remains: Lamar 100 – Drake 0.