Dad Incapable Of Saying No to Daughters Very Angry With Frozen Movie

Over at the New York Post, film critic Kyle Smith writes that he received a free copy of Frozen one year ago and it’s been madness at his home every since. His daughters demand all the Disney swag — dolls, coloring books, stickers, games, puzzles, nightgowns — as well as a Frozen lullaby (“Let It Go”) from their mother each night. Oh, and she has to do an encore of “Do You Want To Build a Snowman?”

All his kids think about is Frozen and all Smith thinks about is how to buy them more Frozen stuff: The latest is an Elsa comforter. Obsessions like the Smith family’s are great for Hasbro; the company just gained the Frozen licensing rights from Disney — perhaps because when Mattel had the rights, parents were buying the movie’s products on the black market. Hasbro is poised to make oodles of money this holiday season. From Smith:

In theory, we buy our kids all the crap they want to keep them happy — that is, sedated in a Disney stupor — so we can relax and watch a Giants game. But “Frozen” has turned my sweet daughters into mad merch-munching dragons who get all the hungrier the more we feed them.

A few weeks ago our family went to what we thought would be a nice dinner party on Shelter Island. Our toddler spotted a small hole in the deck and wondered if her tiny, freshly purchased 2-inch Elsa doll would fit through it.

It did!

As she wailed, I spent the next hour trying to fish the thing out with a fondue fork covered with sticky tape. I’ve had more fun raking leaves than I did at that party.

Kyle, you have to say no. Tell them no, Kyle. I have no kids but my mother’s favorite line to me I was one was “Do you have such-and-such money? Well…” My takeaway was that I did not indeed have such-and-such money and until I got a job and did, I should probably chill. I saved my big requests for birthdays and Christmas and I survived. Just a thought.