What the Fuck Are Democrats Doing?

They have to present Americans with a true alternative; they have to show that they believe in something as much as the GOP believes in MAGA.

By Nora Biette-Timmons  |  February 3, 2025 | 1:57pm
Photo: Getty Images In DepthPolitics
What the Fuck Are Democrats Doing?

Weekends are important. The labor movement has given us many wonderful things, and the sanctity of a two-day break from work is chief among them. In fact, three-day weekends would be even better; a four-day workweek should be the rule. 

But, like pretty much everything, there are exceptions to the rule. And if your job is something like “Democratic member of Congress” or “senior aide to a senator from a blue state” and what’s happening over the weekend is a “constitutional crisis,” I’m sorry, but it’s time to get your ass up and fucking work. The concept of a weekend will no longer exist if you let Donald Trump and Elon Musk steamroll you and build their horrific version of America. 

Take, for example, this past weekend. Less than two weeks into Trump’s second term, Musk’s “Department of Government Efficiency” spent Saturday and Sunday bull-in-a-china-shopping through various federal departments. Two senior staffers at USAID were suspended because they refused to give Musk’s DOGE bozos—Gen Z men who look like they’re named shit like Braeden—access to classified information; the 19-to-24-year-old “staffers” got ahold of U.S. foreign aid details anyway. They also got access to social security numbers over at the Treasury Department. According to local news outlet D.C. Media Group, other apparent DOGE henchmen who self-identified as “data miners” attempted to enter the Office of Personnel Management, but were blocked by 100 or so federal workers who occupied the plaza in front of the office all Sunday afternoon. 

This seemed like a prime moment for Democrats to step up; in our two-party system, the party that isn’t in power is the opposition party, so Democrats’ primary job right now is to oppose the Trump administration. Plus, they spent months promising us that Trump (and Musk) are a severe threat to the future of our country—so I’d imagine at least one of them must have an idea for preventing that threat from reaching its worst possibilities. Right?

Unfortunately, Democrats had a characteristically, brutally ineffective response, tweeting concernedly about the development 13 hours after it began and telling a reporter that a “bipartisan group” would meet to discuss the matter “tomorrow” (that is, today, Monday). Never mind that by the end of Monday, it’s extremely likely that Musk’s merry band of Gen Z losers will have begun dismantling another crucial federal department. (Employees of USAID were told not to come to work today.) 

This, horrifically, appears to be the plan; Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer told Semafor over the weekend that Democrats are “not going to fall for the Bannon ‘flood the zone,’” which Semafor characterized as “Steve Bannon’s call for the president to blitz Democrats with orders and executive-branch maneuvers.” Instead, Schumer said he’s going to just wait for Trump to “screw up.” To be the most senior Senate Democrat and proudly proclaim you’re going to wait for the famously impulsive, punitive president to do an oopsie… man, I’ll have what Chuck’s having. 

The disemboweling of a government agency *created by Congressional statute* by a private citizen is completely shocking

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— Maya Sen (@mayasen.bsky.social) February 3, 2025 at 2:57 PM

Aside from Schumer’s own cracked-out barometer—which I have to hope has registered that what happened this weekend is, for starters, deeply unconstitutional—it doesn’t matter where you think Trump’s strategy falls on the “flooding the zone” to “screw up” spectrum if Democrats aren’t going to do anything about it. Sure, Schumer’s held a couple of press conferences—about tariffs and nominees—with some colorful signs. His staff scheduled some inane tweets over the weekend. But at what point do we cross over into territory where one of the most powerful men in Washington decides to actually use that power?

And other congressional Democrats aren’t doing much else to push back against these nutjobs’ very real, very concerted efforts to subvert the powers of the federal government to serve their own purposes. Sen. Amy Klobuchar is giving interviews to the New York Times about how Democrats should attempt more bipartisanship. (No, really.) Sen. Elizabeth Warren wants you to know she’s really mad about eggs. House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries spent last week tweeting incomprehensible religious shit. 

I think it’s fine, generally, for lawmakers to take some time off—but there’s over 260 Democrats; they can take turns pitching in to push back against Republicans over the weekend. Get a little rotation going! Anyone who’s worked a service job knows how to divvy up undesirable shifts—and is being a member of Congress not the ultimate service job? Send a Google sheet around and have everyone sign up for a weekend shift yelling at Republicans. 

Because, at minimum, that’s what the Democrats—the opposition party!—should be doing. They should be vocally, visibly, and categorically opposing what the Trump administration is doing. 

I want Jon Ossoff doing TikToks. I want the return of the dark-money, rapid-response super PACs whose output during campaign seasons can only be produced by round-the-clock video monitoring and off-prescription-Adderall usage. I want Tina Smith on Call Her Daddy. I want them pushing back in a visible, meaningful way. 

The Democrats are not powerless right now. They can challenge Trump’s dangerous nominees (which, to her credit, Klobuchar did when grilling Kash Patel last week), and vote against each and every one of his appointments. They can immediately launch investigations and lawsuits. They can show up when federal workers step in to physically protect the constitutional order. But the Democrats have to be nimble; they have to be fast. They cannot dither and consult the typical gamut of DNC focus groups. They have to present Americans with a true alternative; they have to show that they believe in something as much as the GOP believes in MAGA.

They have to prove they care. Otherwise, they’ve got nothing, they’ll get crushed by Trump’s steamrolling chaos—and they’ll deserve it. But we don’t deserve it, so please, for the love of all that is holy, Democrats, get your shit together. Fight back.

 
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