After A Horrible Week, Let’s Just Look At Elephants

The past week has been utterly unbearable, and my only escape has been to lovingly gaze at adorable elephant calves frolicking around, trying to figure out what to do with their wild, unruly trunks while their attentive mothers shovel fresh greens into their mouths.

My addiction to elephant content began two years ago. The covid lockdown had me doomscrolling alone in my apartment, and for whatever reason, videos of these gentle giants and their calves provided a balm for my weary soul on the worst of days. Now, I still can’t tear myself away from their world: that comforting energy, those thick, lush eyelashes and calming eyes that seem to say, everything will be okay.

I often contemplate what life would be like if instead of a journalist, I were just an elephant, with a long, confusing arm of a nose, perpetually in search of leafy shrubs and little watering holes under the African sun. I’ve realized that I will never get be an elephant, quite like this man will never really get to be a border collie, as hard as he tries. But I will settle for the constant flow of soothing videos and heartwarming images that sweep me back into the only reality that feels good in this world.

Here is some elephant content, apropos of nothing, that I promise will lower your blood pressure immediately:

Elephants trunks are wild. There are no fingers at the end of them—these gentle giants would absolutely suck at tweeting or gaming or really anything that requires dexterity That’s what’s so great about them: Instead of arms, they have one really long snout that acts as a giant straw to get them only what they need to survive, like water and leaves, while preventing them from texting an ex at 4 am. If only.

Elephants are lovers, not fighters. They possess strong maternal instincts and actual empathy: They can recognize when one of their herd is in distress and then provide a comforting touch to console whichever among them appears to be struggling.

Here we have a pair of friends testing each other’s trunk strength, a behavior that is quite common for young elephants as they mature and build up their skill sets for surviving in the wild. It’s not a fight—it’s a mutual self-defense class! Adorable.

Elephants have ravenous appetites, and there’s nothing like watching their trunks dig into the ground to uproot a mouthful of greens. How do they feed those massive bodies without steaks and Big Macs? I don’t know, but if they can do it, surely we can.

Animals obviously aren’t immune to burns or the damage caused by the sun, and elephants have the coolest cooling mechanism of all: They fling dust and dirt on their bodies to protect themselves from heat and relentless UV rays. Cute and smart—a combination impossible to find on Tinder in New York.

It’s hot as hell in most places where elephants live. And they may not look like it, but they’re actually great swimmers. Per Treehugger:

Elephants have enough buoyancy to stay at the surface and use their powerful legs to paddle. They also use their trunk as a snorkel when crossing deep water so they are able to breathe normally even when submerged.

Again, I am truly obsessed with the versatility of those trunks. A human limb could never.

Mother elephants are extremely protective of their young—they even babysit each other’s calves. If a calf dies, the mother will still carry it around for days or weeks, in mourning. I can’t tell you how many videos I’ve watched featuring the tiny calves seeking refuge under their towering mothers or being rescued when they wander off. Even this photo gives me goosebumps.

Look at that face! The joy! The excitement! The wonder! It kills me.

How cool is it that elephants actually nominate a matriarch, usually the oldest and largest female among them, to lead the herd? Elephants can live to 70 if our evil asses don’t poach them, so that’s a lot of wisdom for a lady to impart.

This concludes Random Elephant Facts Saturday, I hope it helped.