‘New York Post’ Columnist Responds to Martha Stewart’s Claim She’s Dead: ‘I’m Alive, Bitch’

"News of my passing came as a shock," Peyser, who is not dead, wrote of Stewart's claims in her new documentary.

By Audra Heinrichs  |  November 8, 2024 | 12:06pm
Photos: Twitter/Instagram CelebritiesEntertainment Martha Stewart
‘New York Post’ Columnist Responds to Martha Stewart’s Claim She’s Dead: ‘I’m Alive, Bitch’

During a week of shocking, slightly unsettling news, here’s some more: the New York Post columnist that Martha Stewart said had passed on in her new documentary, Martha, is very much still alive.

In case you’ve yet to stream R.J. Cutler’s biopic on Netflix, a significant portion of the film focuses on the businesswoman, TV personality, and author’s 2004 securities fraud trial, which landed her in federal prison. While describing the proceedings—specifically news of the verdict—Stewart recalled a certain New York Post columnist who covered the trial: Andrea Peyser.

“New York Post lady was there, just looking so smug,” Stewart said in the documentary. “She had written horrible things during the entire trial. But she is dead now, thank goodness. And nobody has to put up with the crap she was writing all the time.”

Well, folks. Peyser is not only alive, but she’s still working and inevitably, had quite a lot to say about the premature proclamation of her death in a new column published on Thursday.

“I’m alive, bitch,” Peyser began. “Even if the Domestic Dominatrix thinks she’s finished me off.” A quick aside: I personally am begging one of my enemies to refer to me as a “domestic dominatrix.” Anyway. The longtime columnist and author called Stewart “petty” and “abusive” and concluded the column by writing that, even after two decades since the proceedings, she “pitied” Stewart for her apparent bitterness.

“News of my passing came as a shock,” Peyser continued. “Should I be scared about continuing to write that ‘crap’?” Well, yes. If Stewart declared me dead when I was alive, I’d assume her natural next step would be to, well, officially ensure that I wasn’t anymore. You never know who Stewart knows, after all

Peyser also gave an interview to Vulture, where she theorized that Stewart’s disdain for her was due to the fact that she was “the only one who went against her” during the 2004 trial.

“It’s kind of amazing. And I guess I feel sorry for her in a way,” Peyser said. “I don’t know why that would be the case. Maybe because I was about the only one who went against her, and she can’t handle that, because she would like to always be right. I don’t know. I can’t psychoanalyze her.”

Sounds like she’s definitely trying to! Godspeed, girl.

 
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