Tough to See Others Living Your Dream (Being Married to a Gay Man)

"What’s the difference? I don’t understand," Diane von Fürstenberg said when asked what it was like being married to a gay man.

By Audra Heinrichs | October 17, 2025 | 10:00am

Photo: Getty Images Celebrities Dirt Bag Dirt Bag

Tough to See Others Living Your Dream (Being Married to a Gay Man)

Earlier this year, IAC Chairman Barry Diller came out as gay in his memoir, Who Knew. Now, is he the first big, fancy businessman to be gay? Certainly not. But because Diller has been married to Diane von Fürstenberg since 2001, the admission generated a fair amount of discourse and made some people (read: me) very jealous.

It all started in May, when New York magazine published a touching essay by Diller titled: “Barry & Diane: The truth about us, after all these years.” Diller begins: “While there have been a good many men in my life, there has only ever been one woman, and she didn’t come into my life until I was 33 years old.” While his decades with von Fürstenberg have boasted “many complex aspects,” Diller writes fondly of their enduring “romantic love,” “deep respect,” and “companionship.”

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“I’ve lived for decades reading about Diane and me: about us being best friends rather than lovers,” Diller concludes the piece. “We weren’t just friends. We aren’t just friends. Plain and simple, it was an explosion of passion that kept up for years. And, yes, I also liked guys, but that was not a conflict with my love for Diane.”

At the time, the iconic designer didn’t weigh in. Now, in an interview with Variety, von Fürstenberg shared her own thoughts on her marriage to—for all intents and purposes—a gay man. And guess what? She doesn’t give a damn!

When asked “what it means to be a woman married to a man who’s gay,” she replied: “What’s the difference? I don’t understand.” This moniker gets unfairly awarded a lot these days, but…Mother. Then, journalist Ramin Setoodeh prodded further: “A lot of women wouldn’t want to be married to a gay man.” Fortunately, von Fürstenberg set him straight (pun intended).

“But it doesn’t change anything,” she stated. “I’m sorry—it’s a stupid question. I married two gay men, OK? I don’t know why, but to me, they’re not gay, so it doesn’t make any difference.” Should you not be as well-versed in the von Fürstenberg as I am, she was first married to Prince Egon von Fürstenberg—who was openly bisexual—from 1969 until their separation in 1972. Marrying the B and the G in LGBTQ+? Most of these other “allies” simply could never!

If a 78-year-old woman can understand that sexuality is a spectrum filled with exceptions and special stories like this, then surely we all can, no? If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: I want what these two have.

R.I.P. Ace Frehley. [The Hollywood Reporter]
Jennifer Lopez on her past lovers: “What I learned, it’s not that I’m not lovable — it’s that they’re not capable.” Spoken like a true Leo. [People]
Taylor Swift and Blake Lively have had “zero contact.” [Page Six]
Sofia Richie Grainge is pregnant again. [Daily Mail]
Warner Bros. has called the boycott of Israeli film institutions “discrimination.” [Variety]
Rachel Kirkconnell is a demisexual now. Not the Bachelor franchise accidentally achieving representation…[Us Weekly]
Ansel Elgort is headlining a rock ballet. [Just Jared]

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