Hmmmmmmmm……: Ariana Grande, “Positions” – It would seem that Ariana Grande has, since the last time I saw her, re-upped her voluminous ponytail and applied a thick coating of self-tanner down her entire person. Sonically, she has also journeyed back down an excessively well-trodden path. In “Positions,” Grande whispers over a sparse, and familiar, mid-tempo beat. She sing-talks in her signature marble mouthed operatics, about her “babe,” and how she wants to “meet his mama on a Sunday.” It’s fine! I don’t mind any of it.
No: Paris Hilton, “I Blame You” – Who is singing for Paris Hilton these days? I’m glad she “feels good,” as the song’s chorus repeats, but this is certainly unenthusiastic music. I hope it was written solely with the intent of remixing, because as it stands now… it is wholly apathetic. Just revisit 2006’s eponymous Paris, or even better, Rich Juzwiak’s look back at her unsavory history. —Maria Sherman
Really, though, I swear I have heard this song before. Haven’t I heard this song before? —Joan Summers
No: Paris Hilton, “I Blame You” – Who is singing for Paris Hilton these days? I’m glad she “feels good,” as the song’s chorus repeats, but this is certainly unenthusiastic music. I hope it was written solely with the intent of remixing, because as it stands now… it is wholly apathetic. Just revisit 2006’s eponymous Paris, or even better, Rich Juzwiak’s look back at her unsavory history. —Maria Sherman