Kate & William Opt For Ridiculously British Wedding Cakes

Today we learned some fascinating details about the royal wedding cake none of us will ever taste. Kate and William are going with a “multi-tiered traditional fruit cake” by celebrity cakemaker Fiona Cairns, which will contain “dried fruits such as raisins and sultanas to walnuts, cherries, grated oranges and lemon, French brandy and free range eggs and flour.” This concoction will be coated with cream and white icing in a “strong British floral theme.”

The rather stodgy dessert wasn’t foisted on them by the Queen — supposedly Kate had “quite strong ideas” about the cake. “She knew very much what she wanted and she brought us mood boards and told us what influences she would like us to use on the cake,” said Cairns.

The couple have also asked the company McVitie’s to make a chocolate biscuit cake that William used to eat as a child during tea at Buckingham Palace. If an American couple wanted to show this much national pride in their dessert choices, they’d have to serve an apple pie in the shape of a hot dog with a Fudgie the Whale groom’s cake.