Jay Z, Macklemore and Lorde Basically Kill It With Grammy Nominations

The Grammy nominations were
announced last night via an
ancient Illuminati ritual a concert. Jay Z leads the pack with nine nominations, including those for Best
Rap Song and Best Rap Album. Kendrick Lamar, Justin Timberlake, Daft Punk,
Lorde and Taylor Swift (TAY TAY SHINES, Y’ALL!) also really cleaned up:

Via Huffington Post:

Album of
the Year nominees included “The Blessed Unrest” by Sara Bareilles,
“Random Access Memories” by Daft Punk, “Good Kid, M.A.A.D
City” by Kendrick Lamar, “The Heist” by Macklemore & Ryan
Lewis and “Red” by Taylor Swift. Kanye West’s “Yeezus,”
Bruno Mars’ “Unorthodox Jukebox” and Jay Z’s “Magna Carta Holy Grail”
were among big albums that failed to scoreAlbum of
the Year nods, as had been expected. Song of the Year nominees included
Pink for “Just Give Me A Reason,” Bruno Mars for “Locked Out Of
Heaven,” Katy Perry for “Roar,” Lorde for “Royals” and
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis for “Same Love.”

Nice! Congratulations to all of
them! As I draw ever closer to the Great Darkening Time, aka my 40’s, I know
who less and less of these people are. Perusing the list, I see Duran Duran and
Culture Club were tragically overlooked for albums they probably did not make
this year, so I’ll just let you all check out the full list
of nominees here and make up your own mind about who was blasphemously left
out of the running.

A concert held to celebrate the anointing of the high holy
leader of the Knights Templar nominees was also a thing that happened last night:

Hosted by
LL Cool J, “The Grammy Nominations Concert Live!” aimed to drive
public attention to an often-baffling list of nominations that include an album
of the year nomination forSara
Bareilles‘ tepid piano pop, Led Zeppelin’s nomination for best rock
performance andEd Sheeran‘s spot in
the best new artist category — despite the fact his tune “The A Team”
was nominated previously for song of the year.

OK, I basically have zero clue
what any of that meant. However, if you’re interested in learning more about
this Grammy concert last night, The LA Times
has written more about it than
Charles Dickens wrote about poverty in London, except their depiction of
the concert is a lot bleaker.