Pete Davidson Cried Watching His SNL Audition

It’s likely that you’ll see a few headlines today from Saturday Night Live‘s weekend-long celebration. Everyone from Meryl Streep to Sabrina Carpenter to Pedro Pascal lent their comedic chops to SNL50: The Anniversary Special; Aubrey Plaza made her first public appearance since the death of her husband, Jeff Baena; Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively attended and participated in a bit about the It Ends With Us legal battle—probably despite their attorneys’ wishes. But frankly, I’m more interested in what Pete Davidson was doing. And not for the reasons you think!

Over the weekend, the comedian gave an exclusive interview to Page Six in the lead-up to the anniversary in which he spoke unusually candidly about the pitfalls of fame, the public’s phallic obsession, and remaining a fan of his exes.

It all began with a recent re-watch of his 2014 SNL audition which, he said, brought him to tears.

“The innocence in my eyes made me so sad,” Davidson told Page Six of the footage, which is included in Peacock’s Beyond Saturday Night docuseries. “Showbiz is so tough, and I didn’t know how tough it was.” Given that he was only 20 when he auditioned (he’s wearing a Spiderman t-shirt from Target in it), I believe it.