Trust us, by the time you read this, someone you know will have discovered the telltale trio of welts and known, with a sinking heart, that they were infested. Especially if you live in one of these ten cities!
Sorry, Cincinnati. According to the Daily Beast, you’re #1 for the bloodsuckers, with Columbus, Chicago and Denver not far behind. And when even Conde Nast is calling out the exterminators, you know they’re everywhere.
There’s nothing worse than telling people you have bedbugs, because inevitably, they make you feel worse. If they haven’t been through the wars themselves, they know people who have. They’ll talk gleefully about the thousands of dollars you have to spend, the furniture you’ll need to throw away, the inevitable return. and your disgust will be supplanted by despair. Within days, you’ll begin entertaining thoughts of tracking down an unscrupulous exterminator with a stash of contraband DDT. You’ll think about moving to the country. You’ll become paranoid, assuming every itch, every speck is further evidence of their tyranny. You’ll never feel safe at a hotel again. And even the most tempting curbide furniture sighting will be cause to cross to the other side.
So, in addition to all that inevitable gloom and doom, I’d like to remind those fellow residents of the top 10 – and the rest of you just behind us – of a few truths:
1. It’s not your fault. Just like Good Will Hunting had to learn: you are the victim here. It can – and will – happen to anyone.