Donald Trump Wanted Confirmation That His Dick Doesn’t Look Like A Toadstool

Stephanie Grisham's upcoming tell-all book includes this absurd anecdote and others meant to make us forget that she was a shill for Team Trump

Donald Trump Wanted Confirmation That His Dick Doesn’t Look Like A Toadstool
Photo:Jezebel (Getty Images)

Stephanie Grisham, former chief-of-staff of former First Lady Melania Trump, has a little story to tell about Donald Trump’s mushroom dick. Yes, that one.

According to the Washington Post, Grisham’s forthcoming memoir about her time in the Trump White House includes an anecdote in which the former president asked for reassurance about his schlong.

From the Washington Post (bolding ours):

Trump behaved inappropriately with Grisham, too, she wrote — once calling her from Air Force One to assure her that his penis was not small or toadstool-shaped, as the porn star Stormy Daniels had alleged in an interview.
Grisham wrote that Trump once asked her then-boyfriend, a fellow Trump aide, if she was good in bed.

Grisham’s book reportedly includes a slew of other tawdry details about Trump, an alleged prolific sexual assaulter who regards women as his own personal sex objects: Trump asking her then-boyfriend, another Trump aide, if she was good in bed; Trump obsessing over a young press aid and requesting she come into his cabin on Air Force One so he could check out her bottom; Trump becoming distracted by a young female translator during a meeting with Russian President Vladamir Putin (a move Grisham suspects was purposeful on Putin’s part).

Of course, none of this is surprising, and for Grisham to act taken aback by this behavior when she’d served as his press wrangler during the early days of his presidential campaign is an insult to the public’s intelligence. She resigned from her post immediately following the January 6 pro-Trump riots, a desperate act of self-preservation, and it’s safe to assume that had she not had such a dramatic split from Team Trump, she may have continued to keep her mouth shut instead of profiting off of the calamity well after the damage was done. What good is it to tell the world now, as 2022 approaches, that Trump was “wrapped up in his own ego and his own delusions about his invincibility.” Of course he was, and it was her job to defend these delusions until it stopped being politically advantageous to do so.

Still, despite writing this craven compilation of the Trump family’s most embarrassing hits, Grisham at least shared a few details about the Trumps that may not be surprising, but are still pretty funny to have confirmed.

From the Washington Post, bolding ours:

She is particularly negative about the president’s daughter, Ivanka Trump, and her husband Jared Kushner — both of whom held senior White House positions. She wrote that the first lady and White House staff called Ivanka “the Princess” who regularly invoked “my father” in work meetings, and Grisham dubbed Kushner “the Slim Reaper” for his habit of inserting himself into other people’s projects, making a mess and leaving them to take the blame.
Tellingly, Grisham writes that Ivanka and Jared tried to push their way into meeting Queen Elizabeth II alongside the president and first lady, a wild breach of protocol on a state visit, but were thwarted when they couldn’t fit into the helicopter.

And then there’s this, on Melania Trump’s messy relationship with her husband:

The airing of Trump’s alleged affair with porn star Stormy Daniels is what “unleashed” Melania Trump to start publicly contradicting or ignoring her husband — trying to embarrass him as he had embarrassed her. She walked into his first State of the Union address arm-in-arm with a handsome military aide Grisham had hand-selected because, Melania said, the floors of the Capitol were too slippery.
“I laughed to myself because I’d seen the woman navigate dirt roads in her heels,” Grisham writes.
And when Grisham drafted a tweet for Melania requesting privacy, saying she was concentrating on being a mother, wife and first lady, she had Grisham remove the word “wife.”
What the scandal didn’t unleash was an emotional reaction. Grisham wrote that Melania Trump didn’t believe her husband’s denials of the affair, but essentially shrugged it all off: “This is Donald’s problem. He got himself into this mess. He can fix it by himself.”
She went along with Trump’s plan to snub Jill Biden rather than invite her over to the traditional first ladies tea welcoming her to the White House, according to Grisham.
And the first lady also pointed out how she’d been criticized for not standing next to Trump the way Jill Biden stood next to her husband on election night. “She said, ‘I don’t stand next to him because I don’t need to hold him up like she does. Can you imagine?’”

Melania still played the role of the supportive wife, aligning with him on some of his most controversial political beliefs—from dismissing late Sen. John McCain’s military service to believing the 2020 election results were fraudulent (they weren’t). Still, her primary focus was on her son, Barron, and what Grisham referred to as Melania’s other child: aphoto album that became her pandemic hobby. According to the Washington Post, Grisham’s book notes that “deep into the pandemic, she spent two hours recreating the ribbon-cutting for the White House tennis pavilion because she hadn’t gotten the right shot weeks earlier. She was working on a photo shoot of a rug during the Capitol riot.”

For the album’s sake, I hope it turned out well.

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