Have You Been Caught Masturbating? Do Tell.

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It was cringe-inducing watching poor Sally get caught in the “unnatural” act of touching herself on last night’s Mad Men…but partially because so many people can relate! A Sally Draper Moment is by no means limited to Sally Draper.

It was immortalized in Seinfeld: George’s mother catches him in the act, falls in shock and is hospitalized. American Pie forced us to never think of baked goods — or parental embarrassment — the same way again. And now Sally’s been packed off to the feelings doctor, and the whole neighborhood knows she’s a self-abuser.

And so we come to the question: Have you, dear readers, been caught in the act of double-clicking your mouse? Were you awkwardly interrupted whilst jilling off? What was your Sally Draper Moment?

While we’re hoping your stories of being caught in the act don’t rate quite to Draper-level of trauma, we’re guessing there are some classics out there — and we want to hear them. So share your tales of masturbatory angst! Let us heal through group therapy! (And here are a couple of examples to help ease any awkwardness.)

Post your Caught Flicking The Bean moments below in the comments, or if you’re feeling private about your privates, you can email me. We’ll pick the ten best — worst? — stories and put them to a vote.

And your humiliation will not be for naught: The winner will a $50 gift certificate to Good Vibrations, so that you might continue in the grand tradition of self-love. Take that, Betty!

 
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