Photo: Andrew Werner
When Luann de Lesseps’s publicist reached out to Jezebel requesting an interview, ahead of her upcoming Christmas cabaret show at the Wellmont Theatre, I could barely fit the list of questions onto a single sheet of paper (let alone my entire brain). Countess Luann. Luann De Lesseps. Lu. She was instantly iconic when the Real Housewives premiered over a decade ago, married to a rich Count and a recent ex-patriate of the Swiss Alps. In the 12 seasons since, she has divorced twice, released a book, launched a veritable music career, become one of the most recognizable reality television stars, and scolded Alex McCord for her Herman Munster-esque Louis Vuitton boots.
She’s also had her arrest for disorderly intoxication in Palm Beach, Florida documented more thoroughly than the ongoing impeachment inquiry, with her journey towards sobriety occupying much of RHONY’s last few seasons. How was I going to cram even a drop of that into a small junket interview for her cabaret? Especially since I’d spent my first real year as a gossip reporter documenting lawsuits and domestic abuse cases. But I also figured that anyone who would request an interview with Jezebel would know what they were getting themselves into.
I couldn’t have been more wrong. To put it mildly, this ultimately inconsequential junket interview was more terrifying than phoning up a high-powered attorney and asking why their incredibly rich client was getting sued.
Less than a minute into our conversation, Luann informed me she was “not here to talk about my personal life. I’m here to talk about cabaret.” I’d asked about her relationship with agent Rich Super, who handles her shows, since not many can successfully launch a nationwide tour performing “Money Can’t Buy You Class” and “Feeling Jovani” to people like me, let alone date the agent co-ordinating it all. That optimism, faced with my first-ever junket interview, faded quickly. I was the plucky young reporter digging for secrets, and she was the cabaret star unwilling to relinquish them. “Uh, that’s okay!” I shakily said. “Let’s move on.”
My follow-up questions were immediately axed. I couldn’t ask her how her relationships with the other women have changed since last season, considering she recently told Jenny McCarthy that it’s been nice not “walking on eggshells” around the dearly departed Bethenny Frankel. I also couldn’t ask her if she’s found a work-life balance with the other women since they accused her last season of being self-absorbed and cabaret-obsessed. And I definitely, under no circumstances, was going to get a question in about how her arrest and the subsequent legal battle would factor into her upcoming memoir, or if she’d finally found a publisher. (Maybe, I realized, it would be good to get out of those court transcripts every once in a while and learn to speak to other human beings.)
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