Lolllll, are you me or any number of women I know? I think it’s physically impossible for straight men in open relationships to not make sure you know they want to fuck you. I don’t think you need to give him the benefit of the doubt that he hasn’t come on to you explicitly; you’re an adult, you can pick up on vibes, you and your friends should trust your collective guts. To avoid making it an upper-case T Thing, though, I think you have to handle this with mockery and ribbing, the only thing straight men respond to. The next time he mentions his open relationship, drop an exasperated, “dude, we get it, congrats on being so progressive,” or a faux-disbelieving, “oh my god wait, are you in an open relationship??? it’s just that you haven’t mentioned it every time i’ve seen you for the last three months.” If you’re feeling particularly annoyed or if you feel like you’re friendship supports this vibe, you can be more explicit: “we get it, Eric, you’re open for business, but I’m not interested.” The key is to call out what’s happening to his face—but in a way that’s funny enough that he can’t actually repudiate it. You want him to be a bit embarrassed, just enough that he’ll watch what he says in the future. (One thing to make sure you avoid, though: Don’t make this his girlfriend’s problem; she’s not his babysitter—and she might be being just as weird with other people, you’re just not witnessing it.) Godspeed (and in case you need it spelled out, don’t sleep with him).
I would also confront the behavior head-on. Next time he makes a pass at you (or you witness him making a pass at someone else), threaten to hit him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper (or the bucket of ice water). If it continues after that, start distancing yourself. If anyone inquires why, be transparent and stand ten toes down.
Nothing like a straight man embracing sexual freedom in a way that makes the women around him uncomfortable! Classic! I agree it might be awkward to outright be like, “close the open relationship talk,” but the alternative is more suffering for you and your friends. There’s a way to shut it down without being mean, too, like one of the other advice-givers mentioned: “Wait, you’re open? Should we throw a party? Should we tell Bella Hadid?” If the issue doesn’t die down, you can also stop hanging out with this guy. I give you permission. Hopefully, as his polycule expands, his schedule will fill up and you’ll naturally spend less time with him!
I think you and your friends should pour a bucket of ice water on him next time he mentions it!
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