In most social situations, the worst that can happen is a little embarrassment. But screw up a job interview, and it’s back to ramen and Craigslist for you. Here’s how to avoid the pitfalls and come off looking awesome.
As in so many social situations (all, actually, except maybe getting chased by bear), you’ll do a lot better at a job interview if you can relax. You’ll come across as more confident, and you’ll be better able to roll with weird questions like, “why do they make pizza boxes square?” You’ll be more likely to get the job, and even if you don’t, you’ll feel a lot better about the whole experience than if you were freaking out. But how to chill? Below, we give you a game plan — and some tips for coping if things start to go bad.
Do your homework.
Everyone will tell you to research the company and position before you go into a job interview — that’s pretty much common sense. But you should also prepare to be a good interviewee — not just to answer questions, but to ask them. I talked to executive coach Ann Demarais, author of First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You, who has this advice:
Be prepared to try to engage the interviewer in a fifty-fifty kind of rapport. You might want to think of some questions to ask that would be appropriate: What’s the firm like? What’s the culture like? Be inquisitive.
She adds that “many companies now do what they call behavioral event interviewing, so instead of saying, ‘tell me about yourself,’ they’ll say, ‘tell me about a time when you had a conflict with your manager, and what happened.'” You’ll be most successful, she says, “if you can think through in advance a lot of different situations in your world and your experience that address some of these kinds of situations,” and pick out the ones that portray you in the best light. She explains, “you’re going to have many situations where you had a conflict with your manager, and you want to select the one where perhaps there was a meeting of the minds and you both learned from each other, rather than where you intimidated your manager and made him or her look bad. You want to select examples that make you shine.”
Demarais also suggests that you practice addressing any potential weaknesses you might have as a candidate: “everyone’s got a couple of areas that they feel less confident about. Maybe there’s a gap in your resume, maybe you had some bad situation at work, maybe you don’t have one of the requisite pieces of experience necessary for the role. Imagine the absolute most horrible questions you’re going to get, and prepare answers for them.” And don’t be afraid to practice: “say these words into your cell phone answering machine and listen to them again. The more you practice putting those words together, the easier they’ll flow off your tongue and the more poised and articulate you’ll come across.”
And there’s more to preparation than just knowing your stuff. Ellyn Spragins, author of What I Know Now About Success: Letters from Extraordinary Women to Their Younger Selves, advises interviewees to think not just about the job, but about themselves:
Know yourself and your goals. As much as women are given great, concrete suggestions about presentation and resumes and more, the most accomplished women start with what they truly want — and can imagine — for themselves. Don’t mold your story to a job description. Do figure out your best strengths and strongest motivations and how they intersect with what a company needs to be successful.
Make the interviewer feel good.
This may seem counterintuitive, but Demarais says interviewees often miss “the opportunity to engage the interviewer.” Job candidates can “fall into a passive answering tone,” but it’s much better to “establish a dynamic, a rapport, a regular fifty-fifty conversation.” She explains that “it’s in your self-interest to really connect, really ask questions, get them talking and interested. They will have an automatic positive reaction to you if you make them feel good and smart.” One way to do this: find out about the company and, if at all possible, the interviewer, and prepare as above.
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